It Could Always Be Worse

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed lately by the sheer amount of bad luck that people around me are experiencing.

A friend of mine's house burned down a month or so ago. Luckily nobody was hurt, and her older son who was home alone at the time made it out okay. It was a totally unexplained fire - it started randomly on the back porch, maybe having something to do with a bag of fertilizer. The inspectors couldn't quite figure out what happened. She also has a baby younger than Alex, by at least 6 weeks. I think the range is more like a couple months younger, though. I can't imagine how I would cope in her situation, especially with such a young baby.

A woman who is new to our church has cancer and is beginning chemotherapy very soon. She is not a U.S. citizen as of yet, she is here with a Green Card. When I visited her the other night, it was after 7pm and her children still hadn't eaten, and she had no money for the next day, either. The medication she needed simply costs too much. Not to mention she's tired and feels terrible. With chemo around the corner, it's just going to get worse before it gets better.

Another woman from church called, frantic and emotional: She was set to be evicted from her apartment of 12 years on the next morning, and had no idea where she was going to go, or what she was going to do. Her roommate (and sister) didn't come through with her share of the rent, and she couldn't get enough hours of work, despite having two jobs, to cover all her bills. She is an emotional mess; as an adult, she feels like life is just getting harder and harder, instead of easier. She works so hard, but it isn't enough to keep her home.

I am overwhelmed by two emotions: One, I am so incredibly grateful that I have a home, that I can pay my bills, that I have relatively good health, and that nothing catastrophic is happening in my life. Two, I feel so bad that I can't help more. I can offer to make and bring dinners, or a small bit of cash to help pay for food, or a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear... but I feel like it's not enough. Not nearly enough for these poor, wonderful women.

But at the same time, I'm so glad I can help in any small way. There are so many people in this world who don't have circumstances as comfortable or as consistent as mine. So many, it's overwhelming to think about, sometimes. So many people need help. I can't possibly help them all. But when I am in a position to help, in whatever small way that I can, I'm so grateful for the opportunity. I truly hope it makes a difference to them. I think it would make a difference to me, if I were on the receiving end. But even if it doesn't, it makes a difference to me. My heart feels lighter when I can help other people. I remember to be grateful for what I have, and stop taking things for granted. It is truly a blessing to think about more than myself when I take the opportunity to serve others.

Service makes us strong in our faith and useful in His kingdom. Service gives us purpose and courage in life. It brings us closer to God and helps us refine our divine nature. It teaches us to love and understand our fellowmen, and it helps us forget about our personal desires, eliminating selfishness, pride, and ingratitude. It teaches us to think of the needs of others, which allows us to develop the virtues that the Savior possesses.

Kindness, love, patience, understanding, and unity will increase as we serve, while intolerance, jealousy, envy, greed, and selfishness decrease or disappear. The more we give of ourselves, the more our capacity to serve, understand, and love will grow.

Those who serve will always seek to please God and live in harmony with Him. They will be full of peace; they will have a cheerful countenance and a spirit of kindness.

Carlos H. Amado, “Service, a Divine Quality,” Ensign, May 2008, 35–37

Still... I wish I could do more. My heart is definitely softened when I can interact with and help those who are in need of help, but the sheer amount of empathy I feel sometimes often makes it painful, too. I find myself wishing I could snap my fingers and make everyone's lives just work out. I hope the things I can do will at least bless the lives of these people in some small way. I think, maybe, that knowing there are people willing to help and be a friend when you find yourself in a very rough spot is enough to lift a person's spirits, at least. In fact, one time that I felt most blessed in my life was when a woman simply listened to me as I cried and shared my frustrations, and gave me a big hug. In my experience, nothing ever feels more desperate than feeling like you're all alone with your problems. On the flip side, everything feels a little easier if you know somebody loves and cares about you.