Midnight Giggles

Last night, Jesse and I were feeling wide awake when we went to bed. Alex wasn't being cooperative in the sleepy department, either, so we amused ourselves by chatting. Melinda had woken up before we went to bed, got a drink, and never fell back asleep. So she ended up joining us in our room, on the twin bed that sits right up against our queen. She was laying there, under her cover, so quietly.

Jesse and I just kept talking and talking, and the conversation eventually wandered from volcanic basins into descriptions of different roads we've each driven on: The roads between Rexburg and Idaho Falls, with their evenly-spaced bumps that can make you carsick at just the right speed; the span somewhere around around southern Idaho and northern Utah that used to be carved right out of the hillsides, exposing all the layers of volcanic rock (and has been removed, since); and as Jesse described them, the "bumpies", as his family used to call them, a series of evenly spaced small hills that would leave his stomach floating out of his chest, as if they were in an elevator or on an amusement park ride. We started laughing and giggling about it, and all of the sudden, Melinda pops her head up the tiniest bit, and scowls at us. "I am sleepy. Be quiet!"

Jesse and I just burst into fits of laughter. Here it was, just past midnight, and our five year old (who just happens to always beg to stay up so late) is now scolding her parents for talking and giggling and keeping her from being able to fall asleep. And she had such a tone to her voice, as if to say, "REALLY! You two are so backwards!"

It was really tough to stay quiet long enough to let her get some rest, after that. ;)

And, For a First...

Jesse just showed me a video they took from work!  I've never seen him do his job before this.  Although I have described it in as much detail as I was aware of more times than I can remember.  And now, I can both see it for myself and show it to you, all at the same time!

This is a video of a record-breaking bond they made.  It was about 12 feet long and went off successfully.  Jesse's trying to correct my phrasing, here.  As far as they are aware, it was "the first single-piece generation 10 LCD display sputtering target to be bonded".  (Mouthful!!)  Usually, he says, things of this size are bonded in two separate pieces, instead of all at once.

So, without further adieu, here's the video.  Jesse's the balding guy in the forefront of the majority of the video (including the start), lol.

Why I Blog

I was just realizing how many of my posts have been nothing but basic life/kid updates, and started wondering if that bothered any of my readers.  That, in turn, led me to decide to write something I've been thinking about for a while:  Why I blog.

I started this blog very nearly 1 year ago to the day.  Nobody asked me to start one, I simply knew a few people who had a blog, and thought they looked like an interesting writing medium.  At that time in my life, I was visiting 3-4 forums every day so I could talk to other moms who had kids my age, compare notes and ideas with them, and just talk about the hard things I faced daily, or the fun things that made me laugh.  I had genuine connections to all these moms I had never before met in-person.  But before long, the forum-hopping and updating people in so many different places left me feeling scattered and I started having a hard time remembering who was who, what I said where, and why I wanted to write about what was going on in my life in the first place.

So I tested the waters here in blogland.  I made the blog without telling anyone, put up a first couple posts to see how I liked it, and debated whether to go public or not.  Within a few weeks, I sent an email to my family inviting them to follow along if they would like to.  I started sharing my blog address with my friends, and gave it out to a few people in the forums I was still active in.  And over the course of the past year, I've found blogging to be just what I needed:  A single place to put all my thoughts, not worrying about going off-topic in forum threads, or about typing too much and annoying people with my wordiness in the middle of a discussion.  I could write about anything, because this was my space to talk.  I didn't need to cater to a certain audience.  I could talk about me, my hobbies, the kids, or just my philosophies.  I could post as many or as few pictures as I wanted.  I even felt comfortable heading into the the realm of spiritual topics, because again, this is my place to say what I want to say, and I don't have to worry about stepping on anybody's toes.

I've always had a bit of a cyclical personality when it comes to writing, even all the years I spent in forums.  Sometimes I feel like typing something every day, or even multiple times a day.  Sometimes I can go for a week or two without feeling the draw to write anything at all, instead just sitting back and seeing what other people have to say.  The only thing I dislike about blogging is that it becomes that much more obvious when I go through one of those quiet phases - people are waiting for me to say something! 

I do love the comments, the way they serve as feedback or validation for my thoughts.  I very much enjoy that I can write in a single place, and all my relatives, friends, and internet buddies can see my updates.  It's so convenient!  But my bottom line is that I don't blog for other people.  I blog for myself.

I used to keep a journal and write in it nearly every single day.  It's true that I was a little obsessive about my current love interests, which often makes me want to burn entire journals at a time, just so my kids never read them... but it's also good for me to go back and see how I've changed.  Sometimes I get to thinking that I really haven't changed as a person very much.  But when I compare myself at 28 to myself at 18, the changes are astounding, and I'm grateful for the record of it.  Unfortunately, my habit of journaling quickly dissolved once I was married.  I simply didn't make time for it anymore.  Not to mention the fact that all sources of angst pretty much dissapeared for a few years.  ;)  And by the time I found myself expecting my first child, I had discovered forum communities, and preferred them to writing in a blank book.

But over the years, I've really begun regretting the lack of a journal.  I would write all these fun updates about what my kids were doing, but I would write them on the internet.  And a year or two later, they'd be moved to the archives, and eventually be gone for good.  All those moments that I can't get back - like first words, first time sleeping through the night, the ups and downs I experienced while nursing, fears and triumphs I experienced as a new mom, the way I felt as I transitioned to two children, etc. ... those have all disappeared.  I didn't keep them anywhere else, excpet what I could in photos.  And you only get so much from photos without written explanations.  In contrast, with a blog, I now have one central place where everything goes.  Pictures, thoughts, joys, sorrows, trials, hopes, frustrations, connections to friends and family.  It's all right here.  It has become my new journal.  Sure, there are some things I don't really want to share publicly, and they never make it here, but I have a private, "me-only" blog for those sorts of rare things.

But really, this is why I blog.  For me.  So that I have a record of what I'm thinking and feeling, what my kids are doing and saying as they grow bigger each day by fleeting day.  And while it would be just as functional to make this blog private, allowing me to put all my thoughts down without worrying about public scrutiny, I find that comments I get serve as a wonderful motivation to keep on writing everything out.  To think that there's someone out there besides myself that actually cares to hear what's going on in my little life! 

So, while I often write because of all you out there, I hope you don't mind that I keep writing for myself.  And sometimes, that means that I'm going to have a period of time where I don't talk about anything much, and just stick to major happenings around here.  And sometimes, I'm going to write a post that takes a couple hours to get down, and a sizeable chunk of time for you to sit and read through.  And you know what?  I don't mind if you never fully read those types of things.  I don't expect you to.  I'm not going to get angry if you don't comment on one of my especially wordy moments in time.  I'm happy when you do read and comment, but sometimes I almost feel guilty when I post something like that, knowing that you might feel a little bit pressured to read it all or else be considered a poor friend.  It's not true.  I just write to appease my own desires of expressing myself, and recording my life.  The fact that you're all willing to come and read and comment is just icing on the cake!  You take the time to get down into the nitty-gritty of who I am and how I think and function, and you don't run away screaming!  I truly appreciate the time you take to come and visit... it does make me feel appreciated and loved, but even if you skimmed over updates or never said anything, I would keep on writing, simply because I've found a medium that works so well for me.

Here's to many more years to come!