Whole Wheat Cinnamon Rolls

Ever since Grandma Newson came to help us out after Alex was born, the kids have been pestering me to make cinnamon rolls. Nedra is great at making lots of different kinds of food, and we all ate wonderfully while she was here, but obviously the cinnamon rolls left the biggest impression on my kids. Still, I never did get her recipe for the dough, and it had been long enough since the last time I had made dough that I wasn't feeling too keen on attempting it, anyway.

So when I ran across a recipe for Whole Wheat Cinnamon Rolls at the Heavenly Homemaker's blog, it sounded too good to resist. And so I caved. I bought all the ingredients. I felt determined to make them the very next day. And yet I managed, in my reluctant laziness, to put it off for another full week. When our friend Johanna invited us over for dinner, I decided it was finally time to get down to it. And I'm so glad I did! They were delicious. :) And... I was reminded how much I love the smell of yeasty dough. The bonus of making them for a dinner party, though, is being able to share them and feel less tempted to eat them all up myself. And let me tell you, I probably could!

The recipe uses dehydrated cane sugar juice instead of refined white sugar for the filling. And YUM! The texture it creates is just perfect.

After the dough had doubled in size and it was time to punch it down, the kids got so excited. "PUNCH?? We get to PUNCH the dough?!?!?" Yessiree. As soon as I saw Jacob "Ha! Ha-ha!"ing at the kitchen pantry's door, I advised them that they'd better go wash their hands so they could help me with the punching. Boy did they like that idea!

And seeing as how our apartment was a lovely 81 degrees today, the dough had no trouble rising at all. Isn't that a nice bonus for not using your air conditioning? ;)

Here it is, the Cinnamon Roll recipe courtesy of Heavenly Homemakers. But you might want to just go right over to the original post to see all the nifty pictures to make you even more eager to make them yourself!!

Whole Wheat Cinnamon Rolls

1 c. water
2 T. yeast
2 t. honey
2 1/2 cups milk
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup honey
4 t. sea salt
8 cups whole wheat flour
butter
salt

Ingredients for the “innerds” of your cinnamon rolls:

1/2 cup butter
3/4 cup rapadura (dehydrated cane sugar juice) (you can use white sugar if you want)
1/2 T. ground cinnamon

Melt your butter and set it aside. Mix together the rapadura and cinnamon in a bowl.

Ooey-Gooey Frosting

1/4 cup butter
3 T milk
1/2 t. vanilla
1-2 cups powdered sugar to make the consistency you like

Melt butter. Remove from heat and stir in vanilla, milk and powdered sugar. Whisk together until smooth.

Okay, here’s how to make the dough…

In a large bowl, mix 1 cup very warm water, 2 T. yeast and 2 t. honey. Stir this together and kind of mush the yeast around. Let this sit for a few minutes while you do the next step.

Melt a stick of butter in a large saucepan. Add 1/2 cup honey, 4 t. salt and 2 1/2 cups of milk. Heat this to 120 degrees.

Pour milk mixture into yeast mixture and stir. Stir in 8 cups of flour, 2 cups at a time. (add more if you need it)

Knead the dough for 5-10 minutes. Plop it into a bowl, cover it and let it rise for 1-1 1/2 hours.

After dough is nice and fat, punch it down and knead out all it’s bubbles. Cut the dough in half, setting one half aside.

On a well floured surface, roll dough into a nice big rectangle, about 1/4 inch thick.

Use a pastry brush to spread 1/2 of the melted butter all over the rectangle. Sprinkle 1/2 of the rapadura/cinnamon mixture all over the butter.

Roll up the dough.

Cut into thin slices, about 1/2 inch thick.

Place rolls side by side on baking pan.

Repeat process with other 1/2 of dough.

Allow dough to rise about 30 minutes.

Bake for 25 minutes or until golden brown at 350 degrees.

Allow rolls to cool a bit, then drizzle lots and lots of ooey-gooey frosting all over them.

Bedtime Shenanigans

Sometimes, when Melinda and Jacob are having an especially hard time falling asleep at night, we end up separating them. One in the kids' room, one in our room, either on our bed or the twin we have set up next to it. (Because, you know, they come into our room halfway through the night 99% of the time. This way, they aren't crowding us when they do it.) Usually by the time we separate them, they've been fighting with each other too much, they can't work together, and they're tired enough that they fall right to sleep. Thank goodness.

After a couple hours of not going to sleep tonight, but still being very well behaved in their own room, Melinda started asking to be separated. We said no. (Because, you know, we do still like to have our room to ourselves most of the time. And Alex doesn't count yet. And if they're not fighting, why give that up?)

But somehow, they both snuck out of their own room and into ours tonight, without us hearing or seeing them. Not sure how they managed that, really. I was sitting on the couch that faces down the hall towards their room. Jesse guesses that maybe they were being sneaky and watching for when I wasn't looking, and darted into our room when the opportunity presented itself. And he made that guess in a mockingly fiendish tone, if you didn't catch it. ;)

I went back to use the bathroom, and did a double-take when I saw, in the dark, Jacob tucked into my bed, and Melinda tucked into the twin. "Did you put them there, Jesse?" "Nope, I sure didn't... ..."

And it wasn't just tonight. Last night, Melinda did almost the same thing. Snuck out of her room while the parents and Jacob weren't looking, tucked herself into the twin bed, and went to sleep.

I'm not sure what the lure is for going to sleep anywhere except for your own designated room with your fun Ikea bunkbed and your favorite music playing on the stereo. But the fact that they're sneaking around and somehow getting into our room without us figuring it out, when we're in ear shot and eye shot in this cramped 2br apartment, really has us kind of giggling in bewilderment.

What's for Dinner

Well, Jesse and I had this for dinner, at least. Both Melinda and Jacob decided they wouldn't eat tonight, unfortunately. They're in bed and not begging for food, so maybe the heat is curbing their appetite. We haven't had this in almost a year, but used to eat it fairly regularly. It's lightly sweet, easy to make, and both kids enjoyed it in the past.

Curried Chicken with Couscous

Prep time: 8 minutes
Cooking time: 20 minutes
Yield: 4 servings

1 c. water
1 (14 oz.) can light coconut milk, divided
1 t. salt, divided
1 c. uncooked couscous
1 T. flour
1 T. curry powder
1 lb. skinned, boned chicken breast, cut into ½ inch strips
2 t. vegetable oil
1 c. julienne cut carrots
1/3 c. dry cranberries (craisins)
¼ c. chopped fresh cilantro

1. Combine water, ¾ c. coconut milk, and ½ t. salt in a medium saucepan. Bring to boil. Gradually stir in couscous. Remove from heat; cover and let stand 5 minutes. Fluff with a fork.
2. Combine ½ t. salt, flour and curry powder. Add the chicken and toss to coat. Heat the oil in a large, nonstick skillet over med-high heat. Add chicken and stir-fry for 5 minutes.
3. Stir in the remaining coconut milk, carrot, and cranberries. Cover and reduce heat. Simmer for 7 minutes or until carrots are tender and chicken is done, stirring occasionally.
4. Serve over couscous and sprinkle with cilantro.

Note: I use “matchstick” carrots from the produce section to save time, use olive oil instead of vegetable oil, and usually omit the cilantro because of personal preference.

Picture Post

First up for your viewing enjoyment, I have my sweet little Alex. I mentioned before, I think, that he's our first child who will put himself to sleep. He often just falls asleep in the middle of playing on the floor. He also likes to suck his thumb. Here's how I found him yesterday after doing both things at once.

I don't think I've mentioned that he's kind of trying to scoot. While he's on his tummy, he kicks his legs like crazy, sometimes, and gets those toes pressing against the ground, and it does end up inching him forward a little bit at a time. If I leave him for a long time, now, a little bit at a time really adds up. For instance, this picture: Fairly innocent, until you see how he started out.
Sometimes I like to add funky little illustrations to my photos to get the point across. ;) I think you get the idea of what this little guy did, amiright?
I need to train Jacob to keep small toys like puzzles away from him still. Hmm. And yeah, the couch is getting old and gross, I know. There's also sharp springs and corners of framing sticking out of the upholstery now, which makes it dangerous for the two kids who think couches are their personal playgrounds. Those couches will not be moving with us. We'll be taking them on a nice trip to the local recycling center when we move.

And finally, a few of me. My hair has gotten to be a nightmare recently. Well, longer than recently, really. I haven't had it cut, or even trimmed, since Jacob was just a little guy. I just hate the cost associated with cutting, but going to the cheap places didn't sound appealing, either. But I finally remembered a good solution that one of my friends found: going to the local Beauty School. The students have to do haircuts as part of their training, and they do it cheap. I dug up the Robert Paul Academy of Cosmetology website, and headed over this morning for a much needed haircut. Since they were only a few miles down the road from me, it was even nice and convenient.

Here's my before shots. Pretty scary huh? Certainly does nothing for my face.
And with this much hair in the Baltimore summer, life can be pretty miserable. And grabby baby hands don't make the situation any more fun. Nothing like prying hair from tiny little fists constantly throughout your day to make you desperately want a haircut.

They spent a lot of time on me, the supervisor checked me out twice, and the total cost for the shampoo, cut, and blow-dry was only $18. EIGHTEEN DOLLARS. For one of the better haircuts of my lifetime!! My head feels so much lighter now, and hopefully I don't look as frumpy. ;) I certainly feel cuter!!
I went in fully prepared to even go as short as my ear lobes, something I've never done, but the girl cutting my hair decided to go with something a little bit longer to hopefully avoid some frizz issues. The client next to me asked if next time I would go shorter, and said she thinks I would look good with shorter hair. Maybe I will. We'll see. I'm pretty happy with this length, but I seriously was feeling brave enough to try something even shorter if my stylist wanted to do something like that.

Meditation

When I was 17, I spent my last year at Young Women Camp as a youth counselor. It was, I think, the 3rd year we went to Ensign Ranch in Cle Elum, Washington for the camp experience. As a youth counselor, I was one of a few older girls "in charge" of a group of younger girls. I didn't have any skill requirements to fulfill that year, but I was supposed to help the younger girls with their classes and assignments.

Unfortunately, it was a really bad experience. Everyone in my group drove me absolutely crazy. A bunch of semi-rebellious, whiny, bickering girls. I never had a moment of peace. Even when it came time to escape into a deep sleep, I couldn't, because of several loud snorers. After 4 days of being with them constantly, and getting very little reprieve, I was feeling very done with them all, and very ready to snap.

So on the last day of camp, my friend Lisa, along with her visiting friend Liz, got together and ended up sharing our frustrations with each other. We all felt similarly at that point in time. There was some free time after dinner, and then there would be a fireside (a.k.a. devotional), as was the tradition for the last day of camp. It was meant to be the spiritual highlight of our camp experience, and usually, it was. But this year, it was different. Myself, Lisa and Liz decided to spend our free time by walking down to the river. While we were there, we experienced a great amount of stress relief, just enjoying the quiet sounds of the river and the chirping birds, talking about God, and even singing hymns together. We all felt so peaceful and rejuvenated. Soon, enough time had passed and we could hear the group gathering back at the campgrounds for the fireside. But we decided to stay at the river and continue our own little form of a devotional.

It was terribly irresponsible of us. Nobody knew where we were, and we didn't think about that aspect. My dad, who was in the Stake Presidency at that time, was visiting that night, as priesthood leaders often do over the duration of Girls' Camp. Pretty soon it was obvious that nobody could say where the three of us were, and they started fearing that we were kidnapped. They had the whole ranch staff and a good number of camp leaders searching for us, before someone finally discovered us down by the river. We felt terrible for the worry we had caused, of course, none of us normally being the type to cause trouble.

In the end, though, I still cherish the way I felt during that spiritual time at the edge of a river, finding so much peace and joy after a particularly maddening week. At the conclusion of the evening (and with special, almost begrudging permission from the adult leaders), our group went out to the fields to watch the stars. Ensign Ranch is enough in the middle of nowhere that you can really see the stars, too. And while we laid down on the grass, all the ill feelings I had experienced during the week seemed to disappear. We all linked elbows in sisterhood, admired the countless stars in universe- the depth of the nighttime sky just overwhelming- and sang the hymns that almost seemed to come unbidden because of the reverence we felt towards God's magnificent creation. One that we sang had me absolutely in tears as we sang it, because of how the words exactly matched my feelings and experiences of that day. Even now, it is still one of my very favorite hymns... I can't sing it without feeling close to tears and remembering this experience, which in some sort of odd way, is one of the most tender and powerful spiritual experiences I've had in my life.

How Great Thou Art

O Lord my God! When I in awesome wonder

Consider all the works Thy hands have made.

I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,

Thy power through-out the universe displayed.

Refrain:

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee;

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee:

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

When through the woods and forest glades I wander

And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees;

When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur

And hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze:

(Repeat Refrain.)

And when I think that God, His Son not sparing,

Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;

That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing,

He bled and died to take away my sin:

(Repeat Refrain.)

When Christ shall come with shouts of acclamation

And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart!

Then I shall bow in humble adoration,

And there proclaim, my God, how great Thou art!

(Repeat Refrain.)

Despite the chastising that we got for practically running away and giving half the camp a heart attack (my poor dad included), my wise and loving Young Women leader, who I always admired greatly, later taught a Sunday lesson to our class and incorporated our experience into the message. She actually commended us for the way we sought out peace during an otherwise turmoil-filled time by being still and quiet in the heart of nature. Meditation, she told us, was such an important part of growing spiritually. And I knew she was right - I had felt the Spirit so strongly, and felt so close to my Heavenly Father.

All of this was on my mind last night as I was reflecting on an article I read online yesterday. The opening quote, by President David O. McKay, read:

Spirituality . . . is the consciousness of victory over self, and of communion with the Infinite.

In our worship there are two elements: One is the spiritual communion arising from our own meditation; the other, instruction from others. . . . Of the two, the more profitable . . . is the meditation. Meditation is one of the most secret, most sacred doors through which we pass into the presence of the Lord.

The article was a long read, but I enjoyed the concept of using a traditional yoga meditation, combined with spiritual mantras, to increase one's spirituality and get a better handle on Christlike attributes. I am often overwhelmed by the constant thread of thoughts running through my head... It seems like at any given time, I have about 3 different things going on in my mind. A song, an aimless and fleeting thought, and an internal conversation with myself, all happening at the very same moment, along with maybe more. The idea of an empty and still mind seems almost impossible to me (how on earth can you actually get your brain to stop talking for even one second??), but the author shared his experiences of how his daily practice over a course of three years led him to being "much less defensive, selfish, impatient, and judgmental. [He] had also become far more emotionally vulnerable, open, and honest." In essence, more Christlike. My experience at Girls' Camp seems to be in line with his experience. Opening up to the quiet, especially while surrounded by nature, and experiencing reverence for all of God's gifts and creations really left me feeling much closer to Heavenly Father, and my previous impatience, anger, defensiveness, etc., all seemed to melt away and be replaced by a great love and emotional honesty.

It would be so wonderful to feel like that every day. As I was reminded by the article, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said, “You are not a human being in search of a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being immersed in a human experience.” So often, I get lost in the human experience. Especially since becoming a mother. I used to have regular times when I could be alone with my thoughts. Even as a teenager, I could escape to my room behind a closed door, and write in my journal, read my scriptures, or pray without being interrupted. But now, when all the kids are all quiet and asleep at the same time, I find myself enjoying the (very) rare quiet moments other ways, by just enjoying uninterrupted leisure time. It's been far too long since I've had such a spiritual moment as I experienced at camp that year. And reading this article and remembering my experience really make me miss it. Especially after weeks I've had like this one, when it feels like practically every moment of the day is making me lose grip with the kind of mother (person!) I want to be... where fights and whining and fits seem to swallow me whole, and my reactions to them become increasingly more impatient and angry.

I would love to find a way to incorporate a block of time into my daily routine to truly attempt to meditate, to connect to my spiritual self, to let the negative feelings slip away, and replace them with Christlike love and patience.... even if it isn't while I'm surrounded by nature. I just can't figure out how I would manage to do that. I so rarely have any block of time where I can be completely uninterrupted.

But in the end, I would just love to have (or find?) time to really follow the scripture:

Psalms 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God.

Rolling

Ah, well, our little baby boy decided that 12 weeks old made him him just big enough to start experimenting with rolling over. He managed to roll from his back to his tummy while he was laying in bed with me the other night, but I think my weight kind of gave him a slight downhill to work with. But just now, 10 minutes ago, in fact, he did it again, right on the flat floor. He tried several times yesterday, but was having trouble getting past his inside elbow. Not so today!

Rolling over at 12 weeks. Yeesh. I hope he's not going to be another Melinda, with the super-crazy physical feats at an early age.... And really, I am hoping, because he keeps thrusting his feet around like he really wants to scoot forward while he's on his tummy. Kinda makes me nervous....

But I'm still so darn proud of him!

12 Weeks Old

Can you believe it? I hardly can! Alex is 12 weeks old today!

I seem to recall a saying: "The first 12 weeks are the hardest." (Or is it 6 weeks? I can't remember.) Bottom line, the 12th week also marks the end of the "fourth trimester". And it's easy to see why.

Baby Alex is growing in leaps and bounds. He's becoming less of a nothing-but-eating-and-sleeping newborn and more of an individual with personality and likes and dislikes. He's treating us to lots of "talking" and beginnings of giggles, and he's playing with toys (mostly the hanging from a bar kind, although he is starting to grab toys on the floor). He's got awesome head control, he's spinning around 360 degrees on the floor, and he's getting very close to figuring out how to roll onto his stomach. He's definitely in size 6 month clothing, and probably close to 16 pounds now, if he's kept growing at the same rate (and I think he has).

His favorite thing is the big sister, Melinda. Doesn't matter what she's doing or saying, he's just all grins for her, and will talk his tongue off with her if given a chance. Jacob is starting to really entertain Alex, too, but Jacob still tends to be a little too "in your face" for Alex's tastes. There's just something special about an older sister, I guess. :)

Alex is a good baby to have for the 3rd time around. He is the first one of our kids to actually fall asleep in the middle of playing on the floor with his toys. And he does it regularly, too! At least once a day, now. Melinda and Jacob, as babies, each only fell asleep once all by themselves. We still have occasional struggles with getting Alex to sleep, when the only thing that will get him to calm down enough to actually sleep is to be tucked snugly inside the pouch carrier, but those times are getting much less frequent, nowadays. He's also surprised me a couple times and slept a full 7-8 hours overnight. And while that is the exception to the rule, most nights he sleeps a 5 hour stretch, followed by a couple 3-4 hour stretches. I'm feeling about as well rested as possible with 3 kids under 5 in my home!

Alex's smiles are just to die for, don't you think? 12 weeks old!! 3 months is right around the corner!

Snickers and New Tricks

I have a teddy bear from my childhood with two tones of brown in his fur. He also has a pink bow that's half falling off. He was super silky and soft for quite a long time, but he had to get washed eventually because of a bug going around our house. And his trip through the dryer mottled his fur. He became more fluffy than silky. But he remained my favorite teddy bear, nonetheless.

Melinda has really taken a liking to teddy bears recently (as confirmed by her wish on a dandelion, during our strawberry picking outing). We were fortunate enough to get a used teddy bear (in great condition!!) from our friend Johanna only a few weeks later. Now Jacob and Melinda can both play with a nice teddy bear at the same time! (Too bad Melinda's not too keen on sharing them, half the time....)

Long story short, I told Melinda the name of my teddy bear: Snickers. And then, because she asked, I had to explain why it's named Snickers: because of the colors, which are so similar to the candy bar of the same name. She didn't quite understand, though, so when we went grocery shopping this week and a container of Snickers at the checkout counter caught my eye, I had Jesse add two of them to the conveyor belt.

We split our Snicker bars in half, and enjoyed them wholeheartedly. It's actually been years since I've had a Snicker bar, I think! (Well, unless you count the itty bitty variety you get from Trick-or-Treating... I guess they count, but it's not the same!) It was kind of fun to introduce my kids to a well-known candy bar. Of course, chocolate candy bars, even when split in half, aren't really meant for preschooler hands....




Melinda learned a new trick this week, too. I'm pretty sure she didn't even really have a chance to practice and fail at it first. She could just suddenly do it. What, you ask? Climb the door frames as if she was born a monkey, of course. See those monkey toes?!?

And yes, I know the kids' bedroom is a royal mess. I'm ignoring it. They mess it up every single night if I try to clean it up, and I don't like wasting my energy.


She climbed the door frame over and over again. Even gave her hand a blister, and had to take a day off! But it was all better today, and so she was back at it again. Jacob tries to copy her, but he's not quite big enough to reach across like that yet. Thank. Goodness.

Of course, Melinda almost was born a monkey, wasn't she? She is the same girl, after all, who was rolling over both ways at 3 months,
Cruising on the furniture like a pro at 5 months,

Crawling just before 6 months,

Climbing up our furniture at 7 months,

And walking!!! at 9 months. (Good thing she was my first child and not my third!!)

I had to know she was always physically strong, right? Still, her new tricks always amaze me. :)

Summer's Bloggy Birthday

If you hung around here a couple months ago, you probably noticed my giveaway that had a whopping two entrants. I was excited to give away some free, fun stuff, and hardly anyone participated (okay, some people had good reasons, but still....). My friend Summer is having a Birthday Bash on Friday the 27th - all day long!!! - and I don't want the same thing to happen to her! She wants a lot of people to come celebrate with her. It's her Blog Anniversary, after all!

So mark your calendars and head over to Summer's Nook on Friday the 27th and get in on a chance to win a lot of fun prizes, mmkay?



And, because she wants plenty of people to come out and play, she's starting the giveaways early: Spread the news of her Birthday Bash by following the directions here, and you could win your choice of $10 to either Amazon.com or Target!

Unfinished projects

I'm in the middle of yet another unfinished project.

I got the idea to make felt donuts, and decided it sounded really easy. Well, after a whole afternoon of embroidering sprinkles onto the frosting, and then sewing parts of the donuts, I'm taking a break. Next: Hand-sewing the inner circles, stuffing, and then closing off the outer circle. Melinda's really excited, I'm sure we'll work on them more tomorrow. But working on them makes me remember all the other things I'm wanting to sew:

• Diapers. Yeah, still only have those 2 done, plus a few that are purchased. I'd love to switch to cloth full time, but I only have enough for almost a full day. Then there's not enough time for washing and drying, you know? Plus, Alex is getting so big that I'm thinking it might make more sense to just make medium diapers instead of smalls, so I won't waste all that work once I do start them. And while I probably *could* just buy some more and be done with it, then I'd feel really bad about all the cute fabrics (as well as several functional supplies) I bought *just* for making diapers.
  
• Play mat for the kids. The one I sketched out a few weeks ago. Oh yeah, we went shopping for the materials to sew it with and everything. I just never broke out the sewing machine, so it's still waiting to be done.
• Pouch sling for my friend. She's expecting a baby very soon now, and I'd like to get this done for her! Oh yeah, I also keep tossing around the idea of making little baby shoes to match the sling.... hmmm...
• Not sewing, but cinnamon rolls. Got the recipe (whole wheat!), got the appetite, got the ingredients... now I have to plan the time to do it.
• Again, not sewing, but planning a Primary class party. I'd really like to plan a day for all the kids in our church Primary class to come over this summer to have a party. I've been thinking of activities and gathering supplies for a few weeks now, but I still haven't gotten around to calling the families to see what, if any, family vacations are planned so I can schedule around that. Running out of time, Becky....
  

I won't even go into all the things I've purchased patterns or fabric (or both) for, and just haven't gotten around to. I think I get over-excited about the start of a project, and then get frustrated when I can't finish it in, oh... about 2 hours. (rolling eyes at myself, over here...) I like quick projects, what can I say?

But honestly, if I had a dedicated space for my sewing machine (and supplies), I'd probably be a lot better at getting things done. It's always been a severe annoyance to me when I have to spend a lot of time taking equipment out and then putting it away again every time I want to do a project. One big reason I never really got into paper scrapbooking. Digital scrapbooking, on the other hand, is AWESOME, because everything is stored on my computer. Unfortunately, that presents a different problem, because sitting at my computer means getting tempted to spend hours drifting around on blogs and forums....

So yeah, you could say I have a problem with unfinished projects. I wonder if I got it from my dad? Hmm, yes, I seem to remember many a floor board never installed, bookcases never built, door frames left unfinished for years.... Maybe I'll go easier on my dad, now that I'm starting to feel what it's like to have a million projects piling up on top of each other. I think I need to learn how to finish one thing before starting another one. It sounds like a good idea, right? Then why can't I refrain from getting sucked in by the excitement of a new project?

Miraculous

My little boy rested next to me.
Quiet filled the room, a precious, rare occurrence.
I read a book as he stayed still,
Drifting peacefully in and out of sleep.

Time passed on and soon it was out more than in...
Little hands now reaching for something to grab,
Head twisting for something to watch,
Back arching to change the view,
Looking for something more interesting than a flat white ceiling.

I enjoyed the quiet, and my book,
And so I casually provided distractions:
Colorful toys laid all around him,
His own little rainbow arching over his head, from one side to the other.

My eyes and my mind drifted back to my book,
Hardly paying attention to the wonder beside me.
Yet a stray noise here or there caught my ear,
And I allowed my mind to come back to present,
Permitted my eyes to follow the source.

In the still and quiet of the room, I suddenly watched, amazed.
Only 11 weeks of life- so very new to the world-
And here was my precious little boy,
One who I hadn't planned on,
But who has changed my world so much, and for the better:

Seeing, Reaching, Grasping, Holding...

I dared not interrupt him in his work,
All seeming so purposeful and preordinated.
And so I watched silently,
Awed by his every careful, unsure movement.

He lifts his arm at the shoulder, noticing the presence of a toy.
It rolls a bit with his movement...
Then his head leans toward it, his cheek bumping into its side.
The toy shifts away again.
He reaches with his hand, tiny wrist twisting,
Fingers slowly opening, extending for something he expects to be there,
Caught between his arm and head.
Tiny fingers find the toy, brushing softly against the hard, bumpy surface.
His back arches, his head twists, and his opposite arm now reaches across his body.
Eyes spy the ball that only touch had previously discovered,
And his effort is doubled, his movements more sure.
The fingers opposite reach and curl, seeking for the surface of the toy,
Finding an edge here, but it slips away from him,
Trying again, searching for an edge.
Near-silent movements succeed:
He now firmly grasps a piece of the toy within his chubby fingers.

Gently, slowly, cautiously, he moves his hand toward his face,
Bringing the brightly colored toy with it.
He feels the textured surface against his cheek now,
His head turns slightly toward it, until he feels the toy against his tiny lips.
His mouth opens slowly, his tongue tentatively thrusting out to explore the toy,

Tasting, Feeling, Discovering, Understanding...

My mind leaps forward and backward simultaneously:
Here he will be, months from now:
Putting everything to his mouth eagerly,
Discovering that thousands of new things are within his reach,
Changing and growing daily, first a toddler, then a child, finally an adult.
Here he was, just weeks ago:
A newborn baby that had known only the safety inside his mother,
Small, fragile, vulnerable and new,
Suddenly discovering thousands of new sensations, never known before.

I watch his discoveries now, silently amazed and awed,
Reverenced,
By the miracle that he is.
Once only a spirit in Heaven, a stranger to my life,
Now a precious little child,
Thinking, Feeling, Growing, Changing, Being.
A miracle,
Right before my eyes.

Jesse's birthday

I probably could have written a book about Jesse's birthday, if I had had the energy to do it on his birthday. Now that it's passed, it doesn't seem as important to write out.

Summary: It was an insanely frustrating day for me. The culmination of which was Melinda throwing one of her worst fits in months, and me giving a consequence I wish I hadn't. I took away the privilege of sharing Daddy's birthday pie and ice cream after dinner. I think I meant it more of a threat, a final chance (after many) to get her to snap back to reason and do the very small task I had given her to do (and stop throwing the monstrous fit) before we had to run out of the house. But it didn't work, and we had to leave the house. I immediately regretted it, I didn't want her to miss out on the best part of Daddy's birthday, and I didn't want to feel like a mean Mommy. I called up Jesse and explained the situation to him. He agreed that as unfortunate as it was, I needed to stick to the decided punishment so that I wouldn't become a liar. I called another friend, and she also agreed, and had done almost the exact same thing before and felt horrible about it. But she reminded me that what I'm aiming for here is a child learning that choices have a consequence, and I had made good and sure that she understood exactly what the consequence would be before I finalized it. Anyway, this is getting to be a long summary. In the end, it wasn't a big deal. We had pie and ice cream late enough in the evening that Melinda barely noticed it aside from Daddy blowing out his candles. Melinda understood and didn't fuss about the fact that she'd be missing out, she was promised to have some the next day. She took it well. And I learned a lesson, too. Don't give threats of punishments that you don't want to follow through with.

It was a very busy day. I had to make the special birthday dinner, and Jesse requested a birthday pie - apple pie. So I had to both take the kids to pick a few things for presents, and stop at the grocery store to get the ingredients I needed. It's been ages since I've tried making an apple pie. I ended up using a recipe from the Food Network for a pear and apple pie. With the multiple trips in and out of the house that day, and trying to take care of Alex who still has his newborn needs to be met, and all the other daily life things, by the time I had time for apple pie, I was feeling frenzied and exhausted, and certainly not like I wanted to peel, core and slice a million apples and pears. But I stuck with it, and the apple pie was in the oven before Jesse got home from work. I cheated and bought a refrigerated crust to minimize the work involved. But it turned out yummy! And apple pie with ice cream was a nice change.


Jesse got a bunch of filler presents while we wait for his real present to get off of backorder and arrive a few weeks from now. I can't say more on the chance that he might actually read the blog and spoil the surprise. ;) But he got two new ties (he hasn't had a new tie in several years, and it's starting to show), a new dress shirt, and The Complete Book of Sauces- he's been talking a lot about wishing he knew how to make sauces to cook meat in, similar to something like Sesame Chicken that you'd find at a Chinese place, so I thought we'd give that book a try. It doesn't have much in the way of Chinese sauce recipes (I've noticed a Sweet and Sour recipe, and a Ginger recipe), but it has about everything else under the sun!! We tried a very tasty cheese sauce (Gouda) with mushrooms, but somehow, even though I followed the directions, I couldn't get the cheese to combine with the rest of the sauce, which left curdled cheese at the bottom of the pan and runny (but very flavorful) sauce at the top. I need to figure that out.

Jesse was happy to hear from several of his siblings on the phone, and his parents of course! I think it turned out to be a nice evening for him... he really enjoyed his dinner and dessert. I just wished that the day had gone more smoothly for me!

Computer Update

It wasn't the Power Supply. We had it delivered on Thursday, Jesse replaced it for me during lunch, and I had the computer on long enough to check my email and read about 1.5 of them before my computer suddenly shut off again.

Bummer. BIG bummer. At least it was only about $25 to buy and ship the part. And it did need to be replaced anyway, we figure, since the fan wasn't functioning well. Cooling a computer is important!

When it turned off again, we could still hear the tell-tale faint beeping that signifies that it's overheated. So Jesse opened it up again, and took a look at the heatsink. They're attached to the computer's processor, and attached with thermal glue. This is the part of the computer Jesse has a good bit of experience with through his job, so we're very lucky on that count. He took a look at it, and decided that it looked like the thermal glue had basically squished out over a long period of time. After work, he brought home a small dab of thermal glue from the office, applied it to the heatsink, and viola! My computer is as good as new again. It was overheating because the processor didn't have anything to conduct the heat away from it and into the fan. (The same fan that chewed up my knuckle when I attempted to do my own troubleshooting last week, ironically.)

So, I'm all fixed up! And I'm currently trying to figure out a decent way to back up my 4 years of photos that I was terrified about losing access to. I only have a CD burner on this machine, and I figure it would take at least 20 CDs and an inordinate amount of time to burn all my photos. Jesse has a DVD burner on his machine, and they hold a lot more data, but we're not having any luck at getting the computers to recognize a network that we can share files with. Another option would be to buy an off-board hard drive, and transfer all my files to it, but I'd feel more comfortable with CDs, I think, and hard drives with enough space would run us about $60. I'd rather have a cheaper option. The best bet would be to get the network working, but we're not sure how to fix the problem. We've set up networks in the past without any trouble, so we're fairly confused.

But, for now, I'm back to normal for blogging and internet access, woohoo!

Drinking Games

The weather has gotten warmer with the advent of Summer, and Melinda has been having trouble keeping up with her water intake. She's been reluctant to drink as much water as she should nearly all her life (except, strangely, the summer visits to Colorado, where it seems like she can't get enough!), and not enough water means difficult bowel movements... and difficult bowel movements have been the bane of Melinda's existence. Well, her existence from about 2 years old, at least.

Near the time that she took own her own interest in potty training, just before she was 2 years old and just after Jacob was born, she suddenly started withholding bowel movements. So suddenly, in fact, that I never could figure out what was the catalyst. She just suddenly got *seriously* freaked out about having to go, and it started a very difficult and negative chain of events. She would sometimes go more than a week without... ahem ... "going", and it made life a nightmare for all of us. It would severely affect her mood, to the point where everything was major, major, life-changing drama. You could tell when things were *really* starting to back up, because she would just turn into a different person. And it was hard to take her anywhere, because any time she felt the urge to go, she would slam her bottom onto the ground, and curl up in an awkward hunch and just start screaming like someone was abusing her, fighting the urge and refusing to do anything about it except for holding everything back. These difficult days were often marked by spending consecutive HOURS in the bathroom with her, and spending entire days focusing on nothing but getting her to go. And once she finally did, it was night and day - she'd be back to normal instantaneously, and we'd have several cheerful days in a row. We tried a million different things to make her situation better, sought out all sorts of advice, joined Yahoo groups where other parents have dealt with similar problems, and so on. Some things gave us some temporary relief, but it wasn't enough. We finally had success with a little bit of time and growing up combined with a daily dose of a fairly simple prune jam called Fruit-Eze, of all things. Eventually she got better on her own, and we stopped the extra help and went back to normal life, thank goodness. She was finally able to take care of things on her own, and without the drama. It took over 2 years to get to that point, although experience that other families had left me feeling so very grateful that we figured it out that soon.

However, if Melinda gets behind in drinking again, she starts to show some of the old behaviors and life gets hard again. In the past, I've tried a lot of things to keep her drinking enough water, but the thing is, you just can't *force* a child to drink. And she didn't like any of the games or special cups or incentives that I would give her, back in the day.

Anyway, long story short, on Tuesday, she woke up around 11pm and ran to the bathroom. Had a bit of a mess in her underwear, and tried to "go". But she freaked out, and nothing happened, and we finally sent her back to bed. I groaned and sighed to myself. Jesse reminded me to really try to get her to drink water the next day, as if I needed a reminder for that. How can I forget that somehow Melinda manages to drink, at most, only half as much as her younger brother on any given day? At any rate, I went to bed and was trying to think of things we could do to get her drink her water. And I had the most awesome idea! It must have been inspired, really. I wish I had come up with it a couple years ago.

We played a drinking game! I wished I had masking tape on hand, but I didn't feel like dragging all three kids to the store just to buy masking tape, so I improvised with some yarn.

I made a target with 4 zones on the floor, and we tossed bean bags at the target. Melinda instantly loved the idea of the game, thank goodness! And then I had 4 Dixie cups, marked with 4 different levels to correspond to the zones in the target. If your bean bag lands in the 1, you drink a cup of water marked with the 1. If it lands on 2, you drink from the #2 cup, and so on. I filled a pitcher full of water, and the awesome thing was that it was nearly empty by the time Melinda decided she was done playing. *And* she went to the bathroom 3 times in 2 hours (which is completely unlike her... she normally goes only 2-3 times between morning and dinner)! She even kept going all on her own when I had to take phone calls and deal with other distracting things. She just kept bringing me back to fill up the cups every time she had emptied them, eager for more. And yup, she even had a bowel movement! Jacob lost interest in the game pretty early on, but Melinda kept at it for almost an hour!

As we were brushing teeth and getting ready for bed, she wanted to know what other drinking games we could play. I suggested we could play Memory, and every time we make a match, we take a drink. I wish you could have seen her eyes light up, and her face turn into a grin at that suggestion! She was just thrilled! My daughter, the stubborn girl who won't drink water, thrilled at the idea of playing a game that involves drinking water! It's amazing, really, and makes me so grateful to Heavenly Father for the inspiration to try a different sort of game for her. And I'm so happy with the results!! It really is such a relief.

Win it: New Rachel Ray Cookbook

Need more easy, healthy recipes to use with your family? Have young kids that want to be involved in cooking? Need more encouragement and ideas for getting your kids involved? Want some extra ideas for breakfast, lunches and snacks, to break out of your routines? Head over to this giveaway at 5 Minutes for Mom to have a chance to win Rachel Ray's new Yum-O: The Family Cookbook. I know I am!!

Random tidbits

1) I bought The Host by Stephenie Meyer on Saturday. I started reading it on Sunday, and finished it Monday afternoon. Great book!! Not as easy to get obsessed about, but it was still something that really made me think. One of the reviews on the back cover of the book mentioned that The Host delves into the question of what it means to be human... I agree with that assessment for sure. It wasn't nearly as Sci-Fi as I thought it would be, despite the fact that it's basically dealing with an alien takeover of the human race. It's more about the characters, which I love. It also dealt with something that's always intrigued me: What goes on inside people's heads, how every individual consciousness must have a completely different personality, a different train of thought. I often catch myself wondering what someone is thinking about when they're being silent, and this book has a lot of internal conversations, so it was interesting to me. When you feel like you're part of that world, and can imagine being there, smelling the smells, feeling the hot sun, and feeling the emotions that the characters experience- that's something I love about a good story. It was a slower moving story than the Twilight books, but I can appreciate that. I also guessed the ending pretty early in the book (although I was thrown off by the last few chapters, thinking it wasn't going to work out that way after all - I was tricked!) I still had a hard time putting it down when I needed to.

2) I had an odd dream last night. I dreamed that I was visiting a generic friend in downtown Baltimore. The area had a very specific name, like most of the neighborhoods in Baltimore do, but I can't recall the whole name anymore. It started with an R, and ended with Hill. The R part had two syllables. It was just a few blocks wide, and in between two very busy streets, and near a college campus. For some reason, I left my kids, strapped in their car seats, inside the house of my friend, and went to the light rail station about a block away. When the train arrived, I hopped on and assumed I would be taken to where my car was parked, only a few blocks away. But instead, I was speedily taken (like, faster than present-day trains travel through cities) to a pretty run down and abandoned part of the city, very far away from my friend's house (and my kids). There was a post office there that I went into, only it felt more like a police station (and I've never been inside one of those, so don't ask me how I know that). I found out from one of the employees that there would not be another train coming to that station for at least 2 hours. I guess I took the brown train, but there are also yellow and red trains, and they all have different schedules and different destinations. I didn't know any of that before I got on the train. So I was sort of trapped, too far away to get to my car, and much too far away to get to my kids. I felt pretty desperate to get back to them, strapped into their car seats inside the friend's house. And then my dream skipped forward, and then I was in walking distance, walking through the college campus to get back to that house. All ended well. But it felt odd how my dream dealt specifically with an exact location, and so much of it was about the light rail system. No idea where that dream came from.

3) My computer part was outside of Pittsburgh, PA as of this morning. Hopefully I'll get it delivered to my door by tomorrow or the next day. Also, I have a really nice UPS guy. It's been the same guy since we first moved here, and he's always very friendly, and even jokes around sometimes. I feel like I should get him a little gift to give him before we move, to say thank you for all the many packages he's brought to us.

4) I somehow accidentally purchased Jalapeño sliced olives. They looked exactly like a normal can of sliced olives, except for a narrow green box going across the bottom of the label, stating they were Jalapeño sliced olives. I had never heard of them before, never knew an alternate form of sliced olives existed. I was dumping them into some macaroni salad for dinner (Melinda's favorite!), when I noticed some red chili-like chunks. That's when I examined the label and felt horrified by my mistake. I tasted the olives (after I had fed about three stray ones to Jacob), and it had a slight Jalapeño flavor to it, but wasn't spicy. Until I swallowed. Then my mouth started burning. Ugh!! It doesn't help that Melinda hates spicy things. (Why hadn't Jacob complained? All I know is that he'll eat Pace and chips with Daddy, despite saying it's spicy, so he must not mind!) So I dug out half of the olives, for my sake, and after Melinda was served her bowl, I dug out all of her olives (she refused to even try them once she heard me call them spicy). So beware!! Watch out for sneaky olives next time you purchase them!!

5) Alex is getting so big! Over the last week he's really gotten super-interactive. Suddenly he's reaching for his toys, and now even grabbing them successfully! He often rolls up onto his side, like he's about to turn over, and his kicks and reaches often cause him to turn around at least a quarter turn while he's laying down. When he's talking, it's not always little coo's and grins anymore, but playful squeals and near-giggles! He's always eager to talk when he's awake and alert, and we all just love it! But especially Melinda and Jacob love it. Maybe a little too much - I have to constantly remind them to get OUT of Alex's face, give him a few inches of space so he can actually see them.

6) Our apartment application process is severely annoying me. We turned in the application last Monday. Tuesday afternoon, Jesse turned in our 60 day notice to Century apartments. Thursday, Briarcliff called us to tell us that Century faxed back the requested Tenancy report, but noted that they had not received our 60 day written notice. Briarcliff said they cannot put our application through until Century has that notice (not sure why, but okay....). So they had me call Century to have them re-fax that they do in fact have our notice. But when I called on Thursday, the woman who deals with written notices was out, so they couldn't take care of it. I called back Friday (two times, actually, since I had left a message Friday morning but hadn't received a return call yet), and the woman was in, and comfirmed she had our written notice, but would not re-send a fax unless Briarcliff first sent a new request fax. So I called back Briarcliff to ask them to re-send a request, and the woman who has been dealing with our application was out for the day. Great. Just great. The woman who answered the phone said she might be able to do it that day, but it might not be till Monday, since she was busy. I asked her to PLEASE try and get it done today, since this has been hanging in the air since Monday. I neglected to call on Monday (too engrossed with reading my book!!), and didn't hear from them again until this morning, Tuesday. After I answered, the original Briarcliff woman said, "So I understand you've cancelled your application?" "NOOOoooOOOO!!!" I said, with a very surprised and annoyed tone to my voice. I re-explained the whole situation to her, emphasizing the fact that I was waiting for them to do their part, and I had done as much as I could on my end. "So we need to re-send a request fax to Century?" "YES, PLEASE!!" "Alright then, thank you!" Ugh ugh ugh. I don't know who I feel more frustrated with, Century who for some reason won't send a fax when I request in on Briarcliff's behalf, or Briarcliff, who won't just contact Century without making me play middle man, or employees on both sides who just happen to have the day off on the one day I need them (and separate days, at that), or a pretty basic message of needing a re-fax being turned into "they're cancelling they're application". HUH?? I'm *HOPING* that it will all be taken care of today. I should probably call tomorrow to confirm there haven't been any additional hiccups. All I want is to know for sure that we're secured a place to move into in a couple months, you know??

Substitute Computer

Today my computer was turned off almost all day long! I was definitely more productive around the house, doing two much-needed loads of dishes, 3 loads of laundry (and at least 3 more waiting to be done after that), and keeping things picked up throughout the day. But I did miss my blogging terribly. As it turns out, it wasn't my monitor causing problems, but my computer's power supply. The fan won't turn, so the computer overheats, among other problems. Jesse made it work the other night by fiddling with it, and this morning it started making a clunky noise like the fan wanted to turn, but wouldn't, so I decided to try and fiddle with it, too. Bad idea. I grazed my knuckle on a different working fan inside the computer tower, and it took off a full layer of skin. It hurts! :( And once that happened, I gave up and let it be. A full day of no computer wouldn't hurt too badly, right?

Jesse brought home one of the many unused power supply fans they have at work (since they buy a lot of computer parts, and don't need that particular part, and installed it and deemed it good to go, but shortly after turning it back on and trying to check my email, it very suddenly died on me, and made the familiar faint, long beeping sound of an overheated computer. So the power supply needs to be replaced. We just ordered one on Jesse's computer. Should be here by the 19th. In the meantime, I'll be borrowing Jesse's computer, which has a very different feel for me, and is missing all my bookmarks. So that will mean less total time spent at the computer. And really, that should be a good thing, but it doesn't mean I'm overjoyed about being forced into it!!

We didn't do potty training on Thursday since we were out a few times during the day, and Mommy was busy in the kitchen working on Daddy's birthday requests. Today we tried, but Jacob had a few accidents and was otherwise just having a pretty off day, and ended up requesting a diaper. He was grumpy today, not cooperative about anything, and prone to breakdowns. Not a good day for trying to potty train. Maybe we'll restart the process on Monday, and hope for a few good days in a row for him. :)

Jesse's birthday was on the 12th. I will blog about that when I have some time and Jesse isn't waiting for me to free up his computer. ;)

Potty training, Take 2?

For background or a general reminder about Jacob using the potty, read this post from February.

I'm thinking it might be time to try potty training with Jacob again. Yesterday, after a very small and incomplete-seeming poop in the diaper, I decided to leave Jacob's diaper off for the rest of the afternoon. He didn't have a single accident the entire time he was naked. Of course, Daddy put some underwear on him around dinner time, and *then* he had an accident. But he was doing great up till then, telling me that he needed to go to the potty, and then doing it! He even pooped in the potty, yay! He really seemed to notice when he needed to go, and got there in time. As long as he didn't have anything on his bottom. So I may just have to spend a few days at home and let him get used to that pattern, huh?

Of course, he did pick a fine moment to try and use the "big" potty in the master bathroom. Our toilet lid has come loose, and it's very prone to slipping halfway off the top of the toilet, if you aren't careful. And Jacob decided that he wanted to use THAT potty during the ONE TIME I was on the phone yesterday, and started climbing up all by himself. I had just realized what he was doing, and started going after him, when he started wailing. The seat did indeed slip, and poor little Jacob had a bit of a squishing incident. He wanted me to kiss it better, too. Um.... no. After much begging and pleading, I blew the owie a kiss, which was, thankfully, sufficient for him.

We had company over this morning (we hosted a group Ice Activity!), so we didn't repeat the experiment today, but I think I'll try again tomorrow.

Alex is in the middle of a marathon nap right now, which is pretty unusual for him. I should have taken the opportunity to make dinner while he's quiet and I'm hands-free, but you know... I'd much rather catch up on email and blogs and everything else instead. ;)

Mommy auto-pilot

Today I caught myself totally going on Mommy auto-pilot. I was trying to get Jacob changed into some fresh clothes. He had opened up a closet he's never gotten into before, and discovered a Super Soaker squirt gun. He was playing with it while I was trying to change him. I started getting annoyed, and said to him, "Don't play with that, it's not a toy!" .... pause to think .... Oh really, Becky? A Super Soaker isn't a toy?? .... shakes head at herself .... I need to think before I open my mouth, I guess. Take more pauses throughout my day instead of plowing through things trying to get them done just because I don't want to be bothered by distractions.

My A/C game ended in a rather unspectacular and sudden fashion this afternoon, also. Alex was crying beyond my ability to soothe him, Melinda and Jacob were fighting, and I was feeling extremely flustered on top of being very very warm and sticky. So I threw in the towel and turned on the nice cool air for almost 45 minutes. And it only cooled the house down to about 78 degrees, lol. But it made the rest of the day bearable.

We turned in our lease application for the new apartment this afternoon. The apartment is on a second level and doesn't look as "green" as our current complex does (there seems to be a lot more concrete and a higher density of buildings), and I think it will be really hard to say goodbye to our ability to walk from our porch out to the common green area here... not to mention the lack of any stairs to get into our apartment... but I think the switch will still be worth it. I sure hope so, at least.

We went to the pool this evening after dinner. I was surprised that the water was actually very comfortably warm already. I didn't have to take my time getting in. It felt great. Melinda really wants to be able to swim. But even with a life vest on, she still got a few face-fulls of water. I should probably pay for swimming lessons for her someday. I really should have done it while I didn't have an infant to care for. Jacob was mildly interested in the big pool, too, but he's more touchy than Melinda right now about water in his eyes. He also got a few gulps and sputters from water in his face, even though I was holding him. I took him back to the wading pool after just a couple minutes. And then he figured out how to open the latch on the wading pool gate, and I spent the rest of our time there having to guard it so he wouldn't run out to the big pool. Not because he wanted to swim in the big pool, mind you, but because he wanted to go get a pool noodle that he saw on the edge (that belonged to someone else).

Both kids happily crashed asleep without any effort tonight. Yay, quiet house! Now if only I could get Alex to stay asleep without wearing him in the sling, we would both be much more comfortable!

One other random note I wanted to share, is Alex's favorite song. This is a Laurie Berkner song called Blow a Kiss, from the album Under a Shady Tree. Every time the song makes a kiss sound, I give Alex a big kiss. Usually on the mouth, because that's his favorite, but sometimes I try to kiss the song-appropriate body part instead. He gets the biggest grin when I sing this, and opens his mouth really wide in anticipation of the kisses. And today it was almost like he wanted to sing along with me, because he was talking while I was singing! :)

For whatever reason, my embedded music simply won't follow the do not autostart rule of HTML, so I'm going to go with another option. Please CLICK HERE to play the song. You'll be asked to either open it with a Windows Media Player or save it to your computer. Less annoying than playing automatically as soon as you arrive at my blog, despite my telling it not to.

Bragging rights

I just have to share that I did the new look for the blog all by my lonesome self. :)

I followed some guides at Tricks for New Bloggers, but I did all the header creation and background editing by myself. I think it looks just lovely!! :) I even clapped my hands, I was so pleased with how it turned out. I really love the new look of my blog, and it feels so good to have done it myself instead of paying for someone else to do it, or grabbing something free out there in the world wide web.

Original images, though arranged and altered slightly by myself, came from Shabby Princess Designs. The images are part of the Promise Collection. I like this collection so much, I used it for Alex's birth announcement, as well. Just in case it looks familiar to some of you, that's probably why. :)

Feeling the heat

We're in the middle of a pre-summer heat wave out here in Maryland. Not just hot, but oh so humid. Right now at 8:21pm, it is 92 degrees with 47% humidity, according to weather.com. That makes for a heat index of 96 degrees. At almost 8:30pm. Almost 2 weeks before summer even officially starts.

Every year as summer approaches, I try to hold off on turning on the air conditioning. It's just a huge electricity guzzler. Our electricity bill can easily double just by trying to keep the indoor temperature comfortable. I figure that if I wait to turn the A/C on, my body will get more used to the hotter temperatures, and then two things will happen: I will feel slightly more comfortable outdoors in the heat, and I won't need the A/C to be on quite so much. But it's so hard to resist the A/C when it's so humid! The air gets so moist that it feels hard to breath. Every single piece of your clothing sticks to your skin. And carrying around a 14+ pound baby to try to get him to sleep is nearly like walking into a sauna.

And yet, we've managed to keep the air conditioning off so far. (Well, except on one evening, when Jesse came home from the air-conditioned work office, to me using a stovetop burner and the oven at the same time, with nothing more than a fan running.) Today we've mostly avoided cooking hot food, or turning on the lights, and we've kept the blinds closed and the fans turned on, and cold water readily available. And at about 5pm, I remarked to Jesse how surprised I was that I felt fairly comfortable in our 80+ degree, humid apartment.

Now it almost feels like a challenge - when everyone else in the surrounding area has their A/C running full blast, how long can I keep mine off?? How well can I avoid that huge jump in my electricity bill?

At times like this, I seriously miss the Colorado heat. Sure, it'd get to 100 degrees in the summer, but it was dry heat. You don't stick to yourself in dry heat, you only feel like you're baking. That's a lot different from melting! (And, arguably, more comfortable?) Also, the very best part, it actually cools off after the sun goes down. Once it's dark, you can set up fans in your windows to circulate the air through the house, sucking out all the hot air and letting in all the cool air. If you do it all night, you'll actually need your blankets, because it gets down in the 60's, consistently! But here in Maryland? Tonight, we can look forward to a lovely 75 degrees with 67% humidity.... which is bad enough, but that won't happen until 4:00am!!! It's still going to be in the 80's through the 3 o'clock hour. Yikes. Not much potential for cooling off, there. I'm learning to sleep without covers, and with a fan blowing directly on me. Both would otherwise normally really bother me.

I know, I know, I *could* turn on the air conditioning to be comfortable at night. But that would just set up a pattern. If I get used to cool, dry air, I'll need it that much more! If a fan works, use it, I say!

As for my other goal of avoiding sweets, well, I've done really well, I think. I didn't freeze the birthday cake, though, and I've allowed myself to eat a piece every day since my birthday so far. Maybe I'll go ahead and send the rest of it with Jesse to work tomorrow, huh? But avoiding the sugar has really helped. I'm feeling much more strong against my cravings, now, and I'm feeling the cravings much less frequently already! So I didn't have a perfect week of no sweets, but I'm feeling much better about where I'm at. I lasted all the way from last Sunday until my birthday on Friday, and I've moderated myself since then. And I've snacked on a lot more fruits and veggies, yay! I'll try and keep up the pattern this week. Jesse's requested a pie instead of a cake for his birthday, so that'll be a lot less temptation in the house this week, too. I feel like I deserve a small pat on the back, at least, don't you? :)

Inquiring mind

Last year, when we purchased a membership to the Science Center, we received a 1-year subscription to Popular Science magazine. I never did much more than flip through it casually. Honestly, it seemed pretty full of a bunch of far-fetched ideas, to me. But we got our very last issue yesterday, and Jacob was just mesmerized by the front cover.
He easily spent about 10 minutes just quietly studying the picture. I finally asked what he was looking at, and then the questions started pouring out.
"Wook, mom. What's this?" as he pointed to the yellow vehicle. "That's kind of like a car."
Then pointing to the track attached to the yellow car, "What's this, mommy mom?" "Well, Jacob, that's kind of like a train track for the car. See? The car rides on it."
"What's this one here?", pointing to the white vehicle closest to the corner of the photo. "That's another car."
"What's this?", pointing to the headlight on the yellow car. "That's the car's light, Jacob."

Back to quietly contemplating. And then Melinda chimed in, and I had to try and explain how they were pretend and something that someone wanted to invent in the future. Ugh, future - not really something my 4-year-old daughter gets, yet.

But I was really struck by how quiet and thoughtful Jacob was about this picture. Trying to fit it in with his understanding of reality. My understanding is that at this age, he doesn't have the ability to differentiate between reality and imaginary. So I would guess that seeing a fantastical picture like this one would really stop and make him think. No wonder he had so many questions, and was trying to figure out how it all worked.

And you know, I can really see him growing up to be like Jesse. He always seems to want things to be exactly right, and to understand how they work.

*****
On a completely different note, we have decided to move to a new apartment in a different (but nearby) complex, on a 6-month lease. We're very tired of our current apartment (we've been here since before Melinda was 1 year old), and we're starting to feel pretty cramped. Moving will do several things: Give us more square footage (we're going to a 2 bedroom + den), allow us to de-clutter our possessions all at once, give us a fresh clean apartment to enjoy (instead of the infestations we've dealt with on and off since living here, and the really gross carpet), and most importantly, light a fire under Jesse to really start that job hunting he's been meaning to get around to. We picked up an application for the apartment today, and will be turning it in on Monday. Time to start gathering moving boxes!

One year older, hopefully wiser, too

Today was my birthday. We had a really nice day! I actually didn't remember it was my birthday until Jesse kissed me on his way out the door this morning, along with wishes for a happy birthday. "Oh yeah," I said. "That's today, isn't it?" What a world. I do, in fact, remember my younger days when I could hardly contain myself in the weeks prior to my birthday! It's still a nice day for me, now, but not the same as when you're 8 years young. ;)

This morning we got together with our friend Johanna and her children. She introduced us to something that I've known about but never got around to visiting: Cromwell Valley Park. It was really lovely! I wish I had explored it sooner. The park has several hiking trails, and the one we visited runs flat and right next to a nice stream. Or maybe it's a small river.

On the walk along the trail, we passed some Lime Kilns. I guess they used to mine Lime and smelt it right there in the kilns. They were pretty big! But the kids paid more attention to the nice tall grass, which brought back more childhood memories. I seem to be getting a lot of those this week! I remember camping with my extended family at the beach in southern Washington over Labor Day. We would spend a lot of time in the hills just between the campgrounds and the beach, playing in the tall sea grass. Hide and seek, pretending to be animals, nesting, and so on. It was a lot of fun. It seems like we went to the beach every Labor Day. I hope I have a solid family tradition like that someday!

We continued on our walk, and Melinda and Johanna's son ran ahead excitedly. They stopped and sat on the ground after a while and waited for us to catch up, and then ran on ahead to the frog pond and the stream. Once we all got to the stream, the kids all waded into the water without any hesitation. After a while, I walked through the water, too, and it was chilly!! Nobody seemed to care except for Johanna's daughter, who had some fun with it by sitting in the water and laughing at how cold her bottom got! It was very cute. And of course, all river-wading must include throwing rocks, as well as climbing over rocks. Good times.





Jacob and I found a very nice shiny rock. There were quite a lot of rocks speckled with something shiny in them - this riverbed would have been a great spot to explore back in 8th grade Geology with my teacher who was a rock fanatic! Or (and I'll try not to hide my head in embarrassment) back when I was in the Rock Club in middle school. Hey, it was a fun club! I made jewelry out of agates, and I learned that yellow rocks, when put to a grinder, smell very strongly of sulfur (or rotten eggs)! But being in that club definitely put you on geek status, back then. ;)
Melinda gave me a good scare on the way back to our cars. She ran ahead with Johanna's son in tow, and never stopped to wait for us. I turned one corner expecting to see her there, and she just wasn't. I started feeling angry, and then as I turned another corner and she still wasn't responding to my yells, I started feeling scared. There were strangers on the path, a road of cars to cross, and lots of places to get lost or hurt without an adult nearby. And both myself and Johanna were slowed down by younger kids, so we couldn't run ahead to look for them. As it turns out, they both made it safely to the parking lot and waited for us there, but I honestly have no idea how long they were there before we got there too. It could have been 1 minute, or closer to 5. All while cars were driving in and out, and strangers getting in and out of their own cars. Melinda and her friend both got talks from their mommies right then and there. Melinda didn't seem to get it at first, why I would be scared or mad that she ran ahead without waiting. But when I said to her softly, "Melinda, I love you. I don't want anything bad to happen to you, and I was very scared!", she started crying. I felt so bad. But I think she understands now. And of course, we'll have frequent reminders for the foreseen future, any time she wants to run ahead.

After we got home and had eaten lunch, Melinda suddenly got pretty freaked out and was pointing frantically to her waist. I looked, and there was a tiny speck. Dirt, I thought. She did get pretty dirty from playing in the stream and then on the beach. I tried to scrape it off, and it didn't budge. I looked closer. It was a tick. This was absolutely the tiniest tick I'd ever seen in my life, so I immediately knew it was the infamous deer tick I have heard about every summer since living in Maryland. I tried calling the doctor for quick info on how to properly remove a tick (and Melinda was getting more frantic by the second, "I don't want it to suck all my blood out!!!!"), but was sent to an answering machine, so I decided just to Google it instead of waiting for a call back. Google is awesome. I quickly learned (in less time it took me to get through the automated doctors phone line) that you should never try to remove a tick with fire, or alcohol, or anything like that. You should just grab it with tweezers as close to the skin as possible, and pull back gently and steadily until the tick releases. The goal is to not traumatize the tick, or else it could regurgitate and increase the risk of infection. I also confirmed what I was pretty sure about already: Lyme disease can't be transmitted until the tick has already been feeding for about 24 hours. I'm positive that Melinda got this tick today, probably while running through the tall grass. I'm just glad she spotted it on her own, because quite honestly, I've not followed the guidelines of checking children for ticks after outdoor activities. I'm not sure I would have noticed it without her pointing it out (frantically). So after I removed it, I took a picture. Because, well, it's so small!! Look closely, it's near the tip of my thumbnail. Inside the baggie, just to be clear. I saved it in case it needs to be tested, and that's Melinda's hand underneath.
After the picture, I did a thorough check of the rest of Melinda, and then Jacob and Alex and myself, too. All clear, phew! Jacob enjoyed the check, although curled up in giggles every time I tried to touch his neck or ears. Sigh.

And of course, there was the birthday evening. I got a huge surprise from Jesse: He got me a new computer monitor. I really kind of needed one, as mine has been malfunctioning in the most annoying ways, but Jesse made it a pretty cool gift: It's a 22" widescreen/flat panel LCD monitor. It looks so sleek!! And big!! I love the fact that it's a flat panel. It frees up so much desk space! Jesse suggested taking a picture of it, but well, honestly, it makes all the clutter on my desk that much more obvious. I'll take a picture once I've cleaned things up. ;)

He also took Melinda and Jacob out to the store last night so they could pick out something for me. Melinda picked out a card. When I opened it, she proudly showed me how the hearts "bend" as you open it (it's accordion style, they kind of open from one side to the other). She spelled out her name and drew a picture. The picture is of Jacob, because she likes drawing him.
According to Jesse, when Jacob was asked what he wanted to get for mommy, he first said, "Something green!" When asked again later, it was "Something red!". And a third time, it was "Something blue!" So Jesse did none of the three, and picked out a black pasta spoon server, which I had amazingly never had in 8 years of marriage. It's a welcome gift. I've been doing more stringy pasta lately, and it's really annoying to serve 4 people a plateful of spaghetti or linguine with nothing but forks or wooden spoons!

After gifts (which we did first, because Jacob was threatening to open them all right then and there), Jesse finished up frosting my cake, which he had cooked last night. And after he finished that up, he cooked up my requested birthday dinner of steaks, salad and Brussels sprouts. Yes, I know, the Brussels sprouts might seem like an odd choice. I usually pick asparagus to go on the side with steak, but I feel like I've done that a lot recently, and I wanted something different. I actually like Brussels sprouts - they taste a lot like cabbage, or maybe even turnips, which I also happen to like. Especially when smothered with butter and salt. Jesse likes them too. The kids didn't feel up to trying them tonight, though, because it's apparently been too long since the last time we ate them, when they both enjoyed them.

After dinner was cake time, yay! We used a recipe from the chocolate Cake Mix Doctor book that I received several years ago. Every single cake we've tried from this book has been delicious, and this year was no exception. I picked the Lemon Lover's cake, which had a hint of white chocolate in it, and was topped with lemon cream cheese frosting (also with white chocolate), and also lemon curd. The lemon curd was supposed to be between two layered round cakes, but we just did a 9x13, so we put the lemon curd on the side and dipped each bite of cake into it. YUM!! We also had a bit of chocolate ice cream on the side, and it was a delicious combination. And I didn't even go back for seconds! Pat on the back for me!

Jesse took some pictures of me with the cake. First one? Bordering on frightening. Not only the inferno of candles, but the lighting on my face.
Jesse used 10 trick candles on the cake, the sneak! I nearly hyperventilated while trying to blow them out, and the whole front room filled up with smoke! I think we're lucky the smoke detector didn't go off! But I finally got them all to stay out. After, Melinda said that she didn't like those candles, and we shouldn't buy them. So we know what not to put on Melinda's cake this year! ;) After we got the kids into bed, at 9pm (boy did my birthday evening take a while!), we watched The Office online (on my new monitor!!). We've been watching all the seasons in order, the first 3 were on Netflix for free, and the 4th season was available at NBC.com. We hadn't ever really watched The Office before now, and it was fun! And while we were watching, Jesse's mom, dad, and sister called to wish me a happy birthday. And of course it included their traditional Happy Birthday song! But this year they really impressed me, they did a full harmony, between two phones! I actually clapped when they were done. :) (And I won't neglect to mention that my sister Melissa called and left a song in my voice mail as soon as she woke up in bed this morning!!) My parents were probably too busy to call, since my brother's graduation was tonight, but I did get a card in the mail from my mom today, which was perfect timing, and also unexpected. It actually had me almost in tears. It said:

You've grown into
a very special woman,
and my love and pride in you
have grown, too.
But there is a secret place within me
where you will always be
my little girl,
and on days like this,
my heart visits that place....
and remembers.

I think I'm starting to understand exactly what that means. And I wonder if maybe my birthday isn't so much more special for my mom than it is for me. I know I'm always very thoughtful on my childrens' birthdays.

And right about now, you're probably wishing I didn't put so much detail into writing. It always ends up being a book. But for whatever reason, I really enjoy the small details. I think I'll appreciate it many years for now. Hope it doesn't bore my blog readers in the process!