Parent/Teacher Conferences

Today we had something I was eagerly looking forward to: Parent/Teacher Conferences! I've been anxious to hear how Jacob's been managing in Kindergarten, and hearing what Melinda's teachers say about her, now that they've been in school for about 2 months.

We had Melinda's conference scheduled first, and I was so pleased with everything her team-teachers, Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Crain, said about her. Their notes said about Melinda:

Mrs. Smith (Reading)
Strengths:
Sweet and thoughtful
Always considerate and helpful
Growing as a reader
Great ideas for writing (spaces words well, "stretches" words well)

Still working on:
Reading comprehension (re-telling a story, doing pretty well, but has room to grow)
Using lower case letters

Mrs. Crain (Math, Science)
Strengths:
Great beginning understanding of addition
Sees patterns to help her solve mathematical problems
Explaining her thinking in math
Very sweet and respectful
Enthusiasm for what we're learning in science

Still working on:
Symbolic representations of addition

Examples of work that they showed us that they were really impressed with included:
A math sheet where they were supposed to come up with several different combinations of apples and bananas to equal 8 total fruit. She started out with 4 each, then increased the apples to 5/decreased bananas to 3, increased apples to 6/decreased bananas to 2, increased apples to 7/decreased bananas to 1. They pointed out that this is pretty advanced for this age group. Most come up with combinations that are fairly random, thinking them up as they go (i.e., 4+4, 1+7, 3+5), but instead, she went *straight* to using an increase/decrease pattern. She generally did very well on all her math work, but as said above, she could use a little extra work on symbolic representations. They're really trying to give the kids a good handle on finger counting, and making lines that look like 5 lines on a finger, so they get a really solid idea of what 5 looks like, for instance. And instead of doing things like making 5 lines look like fingers, Melinda usually does something like jumble 8 lines together in a mass circle. But, I think she sees the representations mentally. The other day at dinner, she wanted to do addition for fun. We asked what 7+7 is, and she immediately said 14. We asked her how she came up with that answer, and she told us that she knew 6+6=12, and 2 more = 14. That's some pretty solid mental grouping right there! Her teachers also mentioned that she's doing so well with basic math that instead of counting from 1 (as in 8+5 finger counting goes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 then 9 10 11 12 13), she's ready to start at one number and count up (8, then 9 10 11 12 13). Seems easy enough, but I guess a lot of kids aren't there yet.

Her reading teacher said she was super impressed with her reading skill development. Just the time from assessments at the beginning of the school year to assessments a few weeks ago, she made huge improvements. They have a stock of easy readers available for all the kids to read both in class and to take home. She started with a level B (she was at a C/D at the end of Kindergarten), but came home today with a level F. Level F had just a couple words she had to work out, but otherwise was very easy for her. That's how they want it for those easy reader books. They don't want so much of a challenge that they get discouraged about reading. So anyway, she's been doing great, and surprising me a lot lately with how quickly she can read something I wouldn't have guessed she could. She's also doing really well with sounding words out to write them down, listening for the sounds they're focusing on right now. I asked if I should be helping her spell things, or letting her work it out, and except for high-frequency words (like the, what, etc.), they want me to let her figure it out on her own. So, when she spells "girl" like "grl", that's a good thing. Or "cake" like "cace". She's hearing the sounds and doing her best. They'll start re-enforcing vowels, etc. in a few months. Her biggest issue right now is that she nearly always uses capital letters instead of lowercase. She's slowly starting to use more, so I think she'll get it in decent time.

They are very happy with how she gets along well with *everyone*, and is always so good and easy-going in class, doesn't get stressed out about things (like how I dropped her off today and forgot to hand her her backpack and walked off without it- she just shrugged her shoulders and figured it would work out... which it did, when I came back a few minutes later). She gets excited about learning, and she herself filled out a sheet about how she feels about various aspects of school, and rated herself "great" in every aspect.

So then, there's Jacob.
The "report" his teacher gave us said:
Strengths:
Reading at grade level that we expect them to be at by the end of the year.
Very interested in read-aloud stories and being a part of a small reading group
Loves to help the teacher

Things to continue working on:
Building connections and friendships with peers
Help with making connections and retelling the text he reads

I was very pleased to hear that in the last couple weeks especially, Ms. May has seen a lot of improvement with his social issues. Now, remember, he has been having meltdowns at school, and when he gets upset, sometimes he gets really visibly/physically angry. He wasn't interacting with kids. Had to have his own spot on the rug. Stuff like that. In the last couple weeks, he's moved from his spot on the rug to sit somewhere different. He's been eagerly helping Ms. May every time she needs it (like if she drops an eraser, or needs to push in the chairs). He's learned a few of the boys' names, and called a couple of them "friends". Ms. May was approached by a boy named Luke during "choice time" this week, and Luke told her, "Jacob is my friend!" after they had been playing with cars together. Jacob hasn't been melting down in the hallways as they transition to a different activity- he's been extremely bouncy, but not melting down. Improvement! He still has his moments, but they're getting fewer and more easy to handle, it sounds like. Today, actually, he slipped on the gravel at the playground as he was running to the stairs up to the slides, and whacked the side of his head on the bottom stair as he fell down. He had to go to the nurse's office (that was a little nerve-wracking, when they called to inform me!). Ms. May said she saw it happen, and was very interested to see how he reacted. She could tell it might be one of his angry/meltdown sort of moments, but she could see that he *wanted* to cry, but tried not to for a good long time. She thinks he's starting to get better at working through things instead of instantly going to crazy-Jacob mode. And you know, Jacob's getting better about telling me things, too. Like how one day he was riding a trike around the playground at recess, and went too fast and ran into someone. He wasn't allowed to ride the trike for the rest of the day. (Which made him say he didn't like recess "anymore".) Or how sometimes, his day is a "little bit boring" because they didn't have P.E. class. Or today, how in P.E., they had a man come and do some karate with them. He's talking about things more and more, just a teeeeeny tiny little bit at at time. It's good to see him grow. Ms. May really encouraged us to try to set up times to play outside of class with the few friends he's made. She thinks he'll improve more if he gets more time to work on all that social interaction stuff. That's like major, major homework for me - I'm very BAD about meeting new people and getting to know them (gee, no wonder Jacob's the way he is, with the parents he's got!), and basic strangers who just happen to have a son who goes to class with my son are no exception.

Anyway. Enough about his social skills in Kindergarten. Of *course* that's my major concern with him, being so young and naturally shy as he is. But Ms. May did tell us how very smart he is. (Makes me feel so proud to hear it from someone else!!) Of the two afternoon Kindergarten classes, there are about 4-5 kids who are at about the same reading level as Jacob (who, remember, is one of the very youngest in his class). Ms. May said he's at a "3", which, based on their assessment criteria, is essentially the level you hope to see Kindergartners at by the end of the year. So they take Jacob and those other 4-5 kids at that level, and when they split into their smaller reading groups (which is a really neat thing this school does, in my opinion! Small reading groups with a dedicated teacher for just them!), they are pretty much pushing those kids more than the other reading groups. So he has a lot of room to grow during the school year, since he's got a good group to work with and they can move forward at their own pace. That's exciting, I think! And I can tell Jacob really likes reading groups, too. Aside from Ms. May saying that he eagerly gets up to move with the groups to their separate locations when it's time for reading groups (remember, he hasn't been transitioning well for most things), he talks about his reading group teacher all the time, and the stories they read, and proudly shows me the work he did when he comes home. He likes books. He likes reading. Ms. May said that he just absorbs it all, when it comes to books. She even said that she felt like she could have put him at the next reading level up, except for his frustration with pictures. For the assessments, they have to ask them to guess what a picture means before they've read any words (it helps with context, etc.). Once she got to a certain level, he just propped his elbows on the table, and started pounding his ears/head with his hands, saying things like "What does it mean? What does it mean???" And getting obviously frustrated. So, one thing she'd like us to work on is maybe flipping through a book and just talking about the pictures before we ever start reading it, trying to get him to guess about things, or say what the pictures remind him of, etc. And I can see how he might get frustrated with pictures- Jacob doesn't do very well with artistic things, at least not at this point in his life. He can do numbers and reading and all that stuff really, really well - but drawing, writing, art in general? Those are not his strong suits. The other issue with being an "advanced" reader, especially at his young age, is that often the text is a little beyond his natural comprehension level, which is another reason Ms. May wants us to help him with those comprehension/picture skills. He might be able to read it, but that doesn't mean he can recall it/retell it in his own words easily.

Ms. May isn't concerned just yet with his writing skill, and said that a lot of the class is at the same place he is. They're still taking it one letter at a time as a class. And of course, she reminded us that generally, boys tend to do less well at fine motor skills than girls do, so it isn't surprising that he might struggle with that.

And like I briefly mentioned, he's doing well with his numbers, and is where he needs to be. (His digital watch sure hasn't hurt that department!). He could maybe use some help with patterns, but that's easy enough to work on.

All in all, I'm very pleased with how Melinda and Jacob both are doing in school right now. It's good to hear how easily and enthusiastically Melinda handles a school environment, and it's especially good to hear how Jacob has improved with some of the things that have made me very nervous for him, and how very well he's doing with reading, especially considering his age. And truly, I can hardly take any credit for his reading ability. I think almost all of it stems from just looking over Melinda's shoulder when we've worked with her, and having some sort of innate ability. I'm excited to see how he grows over the year. He's getting so big all the time!

And thank you for reading so VERY large of a blog post. Just hammering out my thoughts and trying to be thorough. ;)

Jog-a-Thon

Melinda and Jacob got to participate in the biggest school fundraiser of the year this week - the 2nd annual Jog-a-Thon. Each student was asked to get pledges from friends and family, either a flat rate or a per-lap pledge. Our family has been so generous, which we're so thankful for! It definitely motivated the kids to do their best.

Our schedule was so crazy on the day of the Jog-a-Thon. It was supposed to be a Walk & Wheel Wednesday, where students are encouraged to walk or ride a bike/scooter/etc. to school if at all possible. After looking at the schedule, I decided that it sounded simply far too crazy to add walking/biking into the mix, since it takes a good 15-20 minutes each way.
8:00am, had to have Melinda to school.
9:00am, had to be back at the school to cheer for the Melinda and the rest of the 1st Graders for their Jog-a-Thon scheduled slot time. They finished up at about 9:35, and then we had to head back home.
10:45, Jacob had to be fed lunch (I still have issues with lunch before 11am).
11:40, Jacob had to be at school. (Normally, if we walk, we're leaving the house at 11:15. You can see how we wouldn't want to shorten our home-time anymore than necessary this day.)
1:05, back at the school AGAIN to see and cheer Jacob with his turn at the Jog-a-Thon. They finished ~1:40.
And, at last, 2:30, we had to be back to school to pick them all up at the end of the day.

We further complicated this schedule by deciding to go to the mall and switch to Verizon for our cell phone plans, securing an awesome deal on new phones (which I desperately needed). We squeezed it into the slot between dropping Jacob off at school and the start of his Jog-a-Thon running. We badly misjudged how long it would take to finalize our contract, and we didn't even leave the mall until 1:15. At 1:05 when I couldn't stand the anxiety anymore, I speed-walked across the length of the mall while Jesse finished signing papers, got to the car, buckled Alex into his seat, and drove to the entrance of the nearest department store by the Verizon kiosk. When Jesse FINALLY emerged, he was running to me, and once he was into the car I drove as swiftly as I could back to the elementary school. I felt like I was going a million miles an hour, though I was barely going 5 over. I was just so heart-sick that I wanted to cry, thinking of Jacob starting his running without us there to cheer him on. He knew we were supposed to be there, we told him we would be there, he saw us there for Melinda, and he was so excited for the event.... but thinking of his typical reaction to hiccups in his day, and his ability to take everything very personally, I could only imagine him in a crumpled heap on the school field, crying his eyes out inconsolably. I was so afraid of what we'd find when we arrived at the school. We kept hoping for the best-case scenario, that maybe they'd spent 10-15 minutes discussing rules/expectations/encouragement, and warming up, and we'd be arriving just a couple minutes after they really started.

When we got to the school, Jesse hopped out of the car and headed quickly over to the field to find Jacob and run with him (Jacob asked for Daddy to run with him, I ran with Melinda... part of the way, at least!). I went to park the car and strap the now-sleeping Alex into a carrier to go join them at the field. By the time I got there, the PE teacher was announcing through the megaphone that they only had 30 seconds left!! I quickly scanned the field and found Jacob and Jesse at a water-cooler station just a corner before the finish line. I didn't even get to see my boy run! He sort of half-jogged to the finish, getting his last punch in his card. He and Jesse both came over to see me, and Jacob so proudly showed me that he jogged TEN (!!!) laps. The laps were 220 yards - half a normal lap on a track. Ten laps is 1.25 miles, and he did that in 20 minutes of allotted jogging time. Jacob!! The boy who I can hardly drag to school (0.8 miles) if he's not on a bike. The boy who non-stop complains about not having enough energy on a simple, flat walk. Jesse told me they did 2 laps in the time it took me to park and get back to them. Which means Jacob did a FULL MILE before his lame-o parents even showed up to cheer him on. It was amazing!!!! I've never been more proud of him and more impressed. I'm simply astounded that he could do that. I suppose it was the element of competition that kept him going - all those kids, running at the same time! Jesse said that Jacob told him a few times that he "had to catch up to Luke". And Jacob was all grins!! Did I mention that?!? When I apologized to him for being so late, all he did was grin and say, "Yeah! Good thing I had enough energy!" He was pink-cheeked and sweaty, but upbeat and proud of himself. I wish I could bundle up that attitude and put it inside him every single day. He was so amazing. I just wish I could have seen him running myself. Maybe I would have cried in amazement.

Melinda was just as great. In her 20 minutes in the morning, she did 12 laps, for a total of 1.5 miles. She only took walking breaks a couple times. I couldn't keep up with her. I probably only jogged 4 of those laps. But she kept right on going! I was originally just as amazed with her: In trying to guess how many laps they might do, I thought that tops, Melinda and Jacob might be able to do 8 or 9 laps, which is slightly more than the distance they walk/bike to school. I thought they'd get tired and have to take long breaks for walking. But nope, Melinda started the day by blowing my high guess out of the water. I'll know better next time!!

Here are a few pictures and videos of their day. Thank you so much for those of you who supported them and their jogging! And if you'd like to make a pledge still, we have until October 12 to have the pledge sheets and money turned in. Just let me know!

The 1st Graders begin their warm-up. Melinda's at about the left-hand third of the picture, in a light pink shirt and long purple pants, with her arms up in the air and her hand holding her yellow punch-card. This picture makes me smile because Melinda's morning teacher in on the right (in her blue school shirt), in the middle of a jumping jack, joining right in with the kids.

Here is a video of the start of the jogging! The PE teacher leads the group in a pacing lap.

Melinda jogging her 2nd lap. Woo!

Melinda's class at the end of the jogging, holding up their punch cards proudly, and enjoying their ice pops as a reward for all their hard work. (Melinda's in the back, clearly interested in something off to the right of the camera.)

Jacob's last stretch to the finish line

Jacob eats his ice pop and shows me his TEN LAPS punched on his card! (See his sweaty, pink face?!)

Jacob's Kindergarten class sits down to rest with their ice pops, their teacher in the white jacket behind them.

The PE teacher congratulates them on all their hard work, giving them final instructions on what to do with their cards. You can kind of see Jacob's head in between the two blonde boys right near the middle. Jacob loves to be up near the front of a crowd.

By the way... we had *just* enough time in between Jacob's jogging and the end of school to run and get food before picking everybody up at the end of the day. Phew!! So much back and forth. But the kids sure had so much fun!! And slept so soundly that night! And cooperated with each other all afternoon!! Maybe we need to run a mile every day. ;)

The Kindergarten Boy

I have to take a few seconds here to focus and calm myself. Deep breaths. Imagining I have access to a punching bag. That sort of thing. You see, it's bedtime. These days, it's usually not so bad, the kids do their thing, get to bed, stay quiet enough till they fall asleep. I usually have to lay with Alex for a good chunk of time, but I get some reading done on my iPod while I wait him out. Not so much tonight. Alex was tiiiiired. Too tired, one might say. He started falling asleep as we drove home from Grandma Newson's house today, at about 4:30pm. I kept him awake till we pulled in, and then he woke up enough to goof off until it was almost dinner time. He jumped off the couch just before dinner, and I didn't quite catch how he landed, but it sounded bad. He cried a lot. And then wouldn't settle for anything but sitting in my lap, where he very nearly fell asleep again. But the stove timer went off, and we headed to the dinner table. And while he was taking bites of food, he had his head propped up in his hands, and yup, you guessed it: He started falling asleep again. Jesse decided enough was enough, and ran to get him pajamas and a fresh diaper. But the process of getting him half-changed was enough to snap him out of it, and he spent another 15 minutes eating.

I guess we missed his window. Because from the moment I started getting him to bed after that, it was one big gigantic fit to top all other fits. He screamed (and I mean, screamed!!) about every single thing that crossed his mind. Brushing teeth. Pillows. Reading books. Blankets. Songs (not wanting them). Daddy. Not Daddy. Mommy. Not Mommy. Door open. Pee in potty. Daddy come back. Of course, only about 10 minutes into this, Jesse had to leave. Volunteered to help a friend unload a moving truck. And so there I am, with a screaming-at-the-top-of-his-lungs Alex, who only gets a million times worse if I try to actually respond to his screaming, or dare leave the room before I do something harmful because of the stress, and he's just not calming down for anything. Nothing at all!!!! So finally, I just gave up. I grabbed my iPod, turned on an audio book, stuffed the earphones into my ears, cranked up the volume, and just laid quietly next to Alex until sleep took him over. Which wasn't for another half hour, by the way. Every now and then, I checked to make sure he was still screaming about the same stuff (yup, he was), and went back to the audio book. Finally, finally, he went suddenly still. One minute he was screaming and thrashing, the next he was just quiet. Until about 30 seconds later he jerked (sort of like a baby's startle reflex), and went right back into screaming demands that won't actually mollify him. But only a couple minutes later, he was still again, breathing deep, giving into the sleep his body so desperately needed. I couldn't help but silently laugh when he moan-screamed in his sleep. Yup, he was out.

Of course, the second I left my room, I found Jacob standing in the hall calling my name, whining that Melinda was copying him (oh, the horrors of youth! How many times to I have to tell them, "If you don't say or do anything, there's nothing to copy"?!?!?). I may have lost it there a little bit. Okay, there was no may about it. I yelled, a lot. I threw stuffed animals and snuggly blankets out of their room with as much angry vigor as my shoulders could muster, relishing in the big thuds things made as they flew through the air and hit the opposite wall out in the hallway.

Hence the need to calm down. Writing it out is certainly therapeutic, too. ;)

So anyway, I wanted to give an update on Jacob's adjustment to Kindergarten, because I've had plenty of people ask about it. The day I wrote the last blog entry, with his giant problem in the bathroom, was the last bad day he's had so far. (At least, that's the last Ms. May has told me about. I haven't walked up to her to specifically ask every day, but I assume for now that if there were a problem, she'd wave me over to inform me like she has before.)

For a few days after that, I started watching him through the window as they transitioned from hanging up backpacks to sitting on the group rug. He's done marvelously, prancing in and sitting on his designated Polar Bear spot, right up front, and just waiting till his teacher got there.

He's gotten some Weekly Readers to bring home, which he's read to me enthusiastically. It's really hard to pry out of him what he did during the day, but Melinda's been pretty helpful at prompting him. Like when she sees his class go to the Music Room, she tells him, which makes him tell me a little bit about Music time. He doesn't answer questions about his day ("I can't remember"), but if something jogs his memory, he makes a point to tell me. For instance, just a couple days ago, I was in the shower. Jacob, out of nowhere, comes in just to tell me how he got to ride a trike during recess. Or, when Melinda checked out a book about butterflies, he came over and noticed the pictures of the life cycle of a butterfly, and excitedly told me about how they have "one of those" for tadpoles in their classroom. How they start out as an egg, get to be a tadpole, and as they get bigger, the tail shrinks!!!, until finally they become a toad. (They get to watch this for the next few weeks in their classroom tank!) He fills me in on just little things, here and there. But things seem to be going generally well at this point. Hooray!

He's gotten amazing at riding his bike to and from school. This same boy, mere months ago, could not go on a simple, flat walk without complaining every, single step of the way. We gave up on our idea of regular walks and hikes all around the area because of his attitude. We just couldn't stand it. There were so many things we could have explored as a family, but we just couldn't stomach the constant whining and complaining that he didn't have enough energy, couldn't do it, etc. And yet, here we are, just barely into the first couple weeks of school, and he's already riding his bike almost a mile two times a day- with hills!!- with no issues whatsoever.

Today he started out his day pretty whiny, and cried about a whole lot of stuff. We're not sure when he woke up, only that he was already up and the lights were on when we got out of bed at 7am. We think he must have simply gotten up way too early, because he was just having issues all day. It was the first day the idea of not wanting to go to school escaped his mouth, but he wasn't really serious about it. He still had a good day at school, and got to ride the trike again, which apparently is the best thing ever.

Basically, I'm thrilled that he seems to have gotten over the rough bits of the transition. Me, I'm still working on it! I'm already feeling the build-up of lack of sleep, and it gets harder and harder to pull myself out of bed every morning. On the plus side, we qualify for free school lunches, so I don't have to worry about packing lunches anymore, though I still have to come up with a snack for both kids every day (but that's way easier). And I've done my best with walking whenever possible to get to school. Taking Melinda there and back, taking Jacob there and back, and then going to pick them both up and back... it ends up being close to 5.5 miles of walking every day. A little exhausting... but I could seriously use the exercise, and I'm hoping to see some weight loss if I stick to it long enough. Jesse had the car yesterday, and between all our different destinations, I did 6.1 miles of walking, most of it with either a stroller to push or Alex in a carrier on my back. That much wore me out a bit, and I was sore and couldn't handle the thought of getting right back into it, so Jesse took care of Melinda this morning for me, and we drove the other two trips since it was laundry time at Grandma's house. But for the 2 weeks of school we've had, we've done almost every single trip on foot. Yay!

Alex is starting to take naps again, since Melinda and Jacob are both gone and giving us a nice quiet house in the afternoons. He stopped napping consistently right around his 2nd birthday (and it was really hit-or-miss before that, too!). So you can imagine how novel and thrilling it is to suddenly have honest-to-goodness quiet in the middle of my day, now! Of course, that just further restricts my window for getting things done. I've had a hard time trying to figure out when to do grocery shopping and other things that are out-and-about sort of errands. I only have a 2-3 hour window before I have to be taking kids to school or picking them up, and it just breaks my day up into such small pieces that I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the timing of it all. For instance, I don't have time to sit down and make a menu plan and a grocery list and go shopping all in one window. That would take too long. Instead, I have to be prepared with the plan and a list, and then run to do the shopping as soon as humanly possible, to make sure I still have time to get Jacob fed lunch before it's time to head out again. When Alex naps, it's just that much less time I have to work with. But it sure is nice, all the same. And when he doesn't nap, he's doing awesome at entertaining himself. I think it must be the novelty of not having an older sibling suddenly yank your toys right out of your hand. ;)

In fact, the other day - funny story - he was wearing a cape and pretending he had a lightsaber. (Thanks to the Lego Star Wars video game Jacob got for his birthday, he knows all about this fun new weapon!) He'd gasp in shock, tell me, "Bad guy!!", run down the hall, make some lightsaber sounds, run back with the bad guys apparently dead, and hand me a handful of pretend... meat. Uhh, should I be concerned about that? Why does a bad guy yield meat? Do I want to know?? And then he'd spend time cooking it, adding other ingredients, telling me it's not ready, all the while going back and forth to get more bad guys down the hall.

Tomorrow night is the informational "Back to School Night" for parents. From what I've already learned, Melinda will start getting homework sometime soon after that, but I don't know what the frequency will be like just yet. And I also don't know why all the information is saved for 2 weeks after school starts (I sure feel quite a bit in-the-dark about how lunch is scheduled and run, for instance). But I'm looking forward to learning more about their classroom schedules, plans for the year, and so on!

First Day of School and Adjusting

The new school year officially began on Tuesday, August 17th.  Melinda was absolutely THRILLED to begin 1st grade, so she could finally go back to full-day school.  I never mentioned it here, but when we moved from Maryland to Colorado, we went from full-day Kindergarten to half-day.  And when I say half-day, I mean 2 hours and 50 minutes, which includes a good 15 minutes of attendance/announcements/etc.  It was way too short for Melinda.  She adored full-day school, and cried several times about wishing she could be in 1st grade in Colorado, just so she could be there all day.  So, when the first day of school rolled around, she took right to it like a fish to water. 

She's reusing her backpack and lunch box from last year, as they will both work perfectly well for her again this year.  By 2nd grade, I may have to upgrade to a full-sized backpack for her, however.  I bought her original backpack on the small side, because it always bothers me to see such small bodies burdened with humongous backpacks.  Between growing and having more homework next year, this is probably the last school year she'll use this backpack. 

Melinda and Jacob on the sidewalk just a block from school.  Jacob tagged along because he had Kindergarten assessments right at the beginning of the day, but his first day didn't come until later.

Heading towards school.  So excited for 1st grade!

Melinda stands in front of her classroom door and classroom bench.  Her teachers are Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Crain, who team-teach, one in the morning, one in the afternoon.  I've heard good things about it, and so far everything seems to be going well.

 So, Jacob had his Kindergarten assessment, which is where they basically figure out where the kids are academically.  When I asked Jacob what his teacher asked him about, he said, "I don't remember."  This seems to be a new constant theme for him.  He basically can't "remember" anything about his day until something very specific prompts him to talk about it.  Such as Melinda telling me she saw Jacob's class going to P.E.  Then he was able to tell me about the game of high-five tag they played, and how he got to be a tagger, and had fun.  I would have never even realized he had P.E. if Melinda hadn't brought it up.   Anyway, his first day of school was actually Friday (oh, he was SO eager for Friday to come!), and that day, only half the class attended for a staggered start.  The whole class didn't meet together until the following Monday.

Jacob poses with his backpack in the field near his Kindergarten classroom on his first day.  He has the funniest poses!

There's a more normal looking face!  ;)

Here's Jacob's new backpack, complete with the embroider he chose: 3 flying jets in formation.  Awesome!

Jacob heads over to his classroom bench, while Ms. May is ready in the background with a clipboard.

Jacob putting his backpack on the bench.

Waiting in line to go inside on his first day.  Ms. May was basically making sure she knew which kids were there that day.

More waiting in line...

At the end of Jacob's first day, he rushed up to me and blurted out, "Mommy, I have something I have to show you!!"  And he pulled a little craft out of his backpack:  A flower shape he had colored, with a smiley face with hands and legs (his typical drawing of a person), glued to a Popsicle stick.  He was SO proud about it, and SO excited!  And then it was time to ride our bikes home.

 I have to say, I was so excited about this bike ride home.  It was the VERY FIRST TIME he had ever gone the entire distance from home and school (~0.9 miles) without whining, even a single tiny little bit.  Jacob does tend to be of the "Eeyore" sort of disposition, seeing the worst in everything on a very regular basis.  Usually we can't walk, bike, or push him in a stroller without hearing a near constant stream of complaints in the whiniest voice he can conjure.  But after his first day of school, he was all smiles, biking his heart out, and even when he got to a hill, instead of whining about how he couldn't do it, simply would exclaim, "Mom!  I need a push to get up this hill!"  It was magnificent.  And the rest of the day at home, too, he was happy as could be.  Miracle!

Unfortunately, Monday rolled around.  And although the same happy, excited mood filled him up, Ms. May waved me over to talk to her.  She informed me that he's been having a fairly rough time adjusting.  She quickly asked me if he had gone to preschool (no, he hadn't).  I also informed her that his birthday was just barely before school, so he was on the very young side, too.  She nodded and said it made good sense.  Apparently he's been having a hard time listening to instructions, often flitting about the room and getting into things instead of doing what Ms. May directs the class to do (for instance, sitting on the group carpet).  And then, when someone took what he perceived to be "his" spot, he broke down crying.  And then on Monday, he couldn't get the Weekly Reader into his backpack (I think he needs to work on using the zippers), and broke down crying again.  Yup, that has Jacob written all over it.  When Jesse and I substituted in his Primary class way back in January, and we had a simple little coloring activity, Jacob ended up on the ground crying his eyes out, because he "couldn't" do it.  I've seen him react the same way to lots of other situations that he sees as unfair or too difficult.  Even Jesse and I have never really figured out how to get him out of a crying spell like that. 

So we sat down and talked about things: I encouraged him to listen to Ms. May's instructions.  I told him I'd watch through the window after they put their backpacks up to see if he'd go straight to his carpet spot.  I told him that if he gets frustrated, to go tell Ms. May he was frustrated, so they could fix the problem instead of just crying about it and making things worse.  Ms. May also gave him a designated special spot (on the picture of the polar bear), which has fixed the problem of having his spot taken.  When she gave me a smile and a thumb's-up on Tuesday at pick-up time, I hoped we were well on our way to fixing most of his issues.


And then, when I picked him up today, Ms. May waved me over to talk to her again.  At about 2pm, he had gone into the bathroom, and pooped.  He then spent the next 15 minutes screaming and crying for someone to come wipe his bottom for him.  Poor Ms. May stood at the doorway, yelling encouraging instructions to do it himself and come back out.  It got so bad that she called me, though I had left my phone at home and was already on my way to school to pick him up at that point.  Teachers simply aren't allowed to help, and Jacob was just refusing to do it on his own.  I guess it got resolved in the end.  And while I was waiting to hear all of this from Ms. May (while she dismissed the rest of the class), I asked Jacob if anything bad or upsetting had happened today.  No, it was a good day, he said.  Nothing was wrong.  (See?? I can't get anything out of the kid!!!)   And yet, you could tell his day wasn't so good.  The whole bike ride home today was one big whine-fest.  It didn't help when I got tired of his whining about Melinda always being in the front, and told her to let Jacob take a turn for the last couple blocks.  Then Melinda threw a big ol' fit, throwing stuff around when we got home, slamming doors, scowling and rolling her eyes at us.  Sheesh.  Not a good day.

Well, Jesse and I had a very, very long conversation with him about how he has to wipe himself at school, nobody else is allowed to do it for him, and gave him very specific instructions on what to do when he uses the bathroom (or has an accident, because honestly, that's a big worry to me still).  And it's all rather odd, because he's been wiping himself for at least a week or two with no problems.  Neither Jesse nor I could say when the last time was that we helped him in that department.  We were surprised and shocked that he created such a scene over it at school.

All day long I've been feeling bad about it all.  I went back and forth so many times about whether I should send him to Kindergarten this year.  In the end, I decided that since it was such a short day- and less time than he spends in church every week- that he could handle it.  He wanted to go to school, has been eager for it!  He is learning how to read very quickly.  It's just the social aspect that made me worry so much.  He's shy, sensitive, doesn't really make friends easily, prefers to play on his own instead of with other kids, still has accidents, gets upset easily, tends to not listen to instructions.... and to see it all causing so much difficulty for himself and the teacher really makes me question whether I was right to send him, after all. 

Jesse reassures me that he'll adjust in time.  And other people have said the same thing, that kids adjust, they figure it all out, and the first couple weeks are the hardest.... but it still doesn't make me feel like maybe I should have waited.  Maybe this is just too much for him right now.  Maybe another year would have been just what he needed to be able to adjust more easily and quickly, so he doesn't end up feeling like he's incompetent, or a bad kid, or a trouble-maker.  I don't want him to constantly struggle in a school setting, I want him to enjoy it.  But what if he never does?  I've thought about homeschooling in the past, but ended up deciding I just didn't have the temperament for it.  I know it's a jump to go from 3 bad days during the first week of school to thinking "Now I'll have to homeschool!!!", but that's where my brain is taking me.  Learning and socializing should be fun, and I hate to feel like I'm forcing it on him when he's not ready.  I know I'll certainly be keeping him my prayers a lot more than usual, hoping he'll get the hang of it all soon....

Jacob's Birthday Party

So Jacob's birthday party was Monday, August 16th.  We invited everyone he knew from church, since he really hadn't met anyone his age otherwise, yet, and invited their siblings to come along too, if they wanted to.  We had a pretty good turnout, especially for how busy people were getting ready for school.  I'm so glad!  This was Jacob's first birthday party ever, and I wanted it to be fun for him.

We went with a "bug" theme that my sister Melissa shared with me recently, and it was great.  We started the day off by doing some mini "ice treasures".  We made them inside the nice little IKEA children's bowls, and it seemed like a perfect size.  Inside each of them was an assortment of plastic bugs and pennies and nickles.  Everything they freed from the ice was put inside a gift bag to take home.  They had fun pouring, squirting, spraying, and chopping the ice for a good 15-20 minutes.  Perfect for a summer birthday!

After ice treasures, we played a little bug-themed game called Spider and Fly.  Everyone paired up, and took turns being the spider or fly.  The "spider" had to try to wrap toilet paper around the "fly" as fast as they could.  First one to finish a roll was the winner!  This was actually very tricky, because too much pressure made the toilet paper squares separate, and that meant it didn't want to wrap around very well.  But they had fun, at least!

We had one friend who had to leave after just an hour, so we went ahead and did snacks and cake/ice cream next.  I had spent a few hours the day before getting some "bug" treats ready:  Spiders made from round crackers, peanut butter, and pieces of pretzel for legs, and raisins for eyes; ants on a log (celery sticks); ladybugs on crackers made with tomatoes and prunes (I wish I would have thought to do black grapes instead, as the kids mostly avoided the prunes); caterpillar grapes with slices of carrot for antennae; and bees on crackers made from circles of cheese and prunes (again, grapes would have been better.  Or maybe olives?).  The spiders were gone in a heartbeat, and caterpillars came next.  We had a lot of leftover ladybugs and bees, lol. 

Here's Jacob and his "dirt" birthday cake!  It's a devil's food cake (boxed, I got lazy) topped with chocolate frosting and crushed Oreos over the frosting.  Then we put extra bugs all around it and stuck the candles in.  :)

And here's a video of the birthday song and blowing out the candles!



After everyone had eaten, we played pin the spider on the spider web.  I wish Jesse had taken a picture of the board near the end!  All the spiders were grouped in the same general area, in the left half of the web, mostly in the upper quadrant.  Melinda actually got closest to the middle.  And even though Jacob looks reeeeally close to center here, he changed it at the last second and got pretty far away.  I was pleased with how eager the kids were to take their turns!

After Pin the Spider on the Spider Web, we headed back down to the grass and played a quick little bug-crawl relay race (otherwise known as a crab crawl).  Jacob was a stinker and wouldn't even give it a try, just laid down and watched everyone else.




And finally, we played "Buzz Buzz Sting"... a bee version of Duck Duck Goose.  Alex was super adorable when he had his turn.  ;)

Time was about over at this point, so we headed inside to let Jacob open his presents.  He loved *everything* that he received, and has had fun leaving them all over the floor for me to trip over this past week.  ;)

Jacob's 5th Birthday

Four months since I last updated.  I'm so lame.  If you're actually reading this, hats off to you!  I'm surprised anyone checks back anymore, these days.  ;)


My little guy Jacob actually turned five last week.  How did the years go by so fast?  And why do they just keep on getting faster?  It's not exactly fair.

We went to Idaho to visit my sisters Melissa and Jacy (Jacy came from Eastern WA to meet us in the middle), and while I was there, I realized that once we got back home, I'd have all of about 2 weeks before Jacob's birthday.  Therefore, I needed to plan things quickly.  And throw together a party somehow.  Lucky for me, Melissa had recently done a birthday party for her son, and it seemed really simple to pull off.  So I copied her, grateful for an easy idea.

I was originally going to have his birthday party on his actual birthday, since it was a Saturday.  But before I actually managed to send out any invitations, I learned that our ward camp-out for church was to be held from the 13th to the 14th... making it so that if I had actually invited all his classmates from church, I'd be darn lucky for anyone to show up, since they'd still be camping if their family attended.  So at the last minute, I decided to have his party the following Monday... the day before school started.  Also not an ideal time, but more likely to have party-goers show up and attend.  ;)

On his birthday, actually, we attended the funeral of a friend's baby.  What a hard combination of emotions to process -- grief for the loss of such a very young life, sorrow for the family... and yet, gratitude for the birthday I was allowed to celebrate, joy for the boy who was getting so big and looking forward to new, exciting things.  It did make me appreciate his birthday so much more.  Though I still had a very hard time fitting that in between all the sad emotions.

After the funeral and back at home, we let Jacob open up a few family presents- one from me, one from Jesse, and a couple sent in the mail from Grandma Wilcox.

Following Jesse's family tradition, we play a little game of "Heavy Heavy Hangover Thy Poor Head.... What are you going to do with it?"  Then the person getting the gift has to guess, and if they're wrong, they get a bonk on the head.

Jacob opens the first gift from Grandma Wilcox.... and it's... an UMBRELLA!  He was thrilled.  :) 

Next up, he opened a gift I worked very hard on.  I wanted to get him a t-shirt with a picture of Link from the Legend of Zelda, but I absolutely could not find one.  Every store online that sold video game shirts either only had adult-sized shirts, or all their child sizes were sold out.  Well, that just wouldn't do.  So I decided to get my hands on some t-shirt transfer paper.  I looked around online and found a supply store that seemed to sell very nice quality transfer paper (based on reviews, it seems like the stuff I could walk out and buy at a craft store wouldn't work well or last long).  I ordered a sample size of 3 sheets, and it got to me just a couple days before his birthday.  I found some images, arranged them in Photoshop to my liking, and printed it on the paper.  Then I had to cut out the paper by hand (ugggggh, it took so long!!), and then iron it on.  I was very happy with the result!  I've already washed this shirt three times and it's holding up awesomely.  And Jacob loves it!!  That's what I was going for, of course.  :)  (And now, I have extra sheets of transfer paper, and I can't stop thinking about what else I could do with it!!)

We also got another package in the mail while we were out, which we opened once we got back home- it was a package full of Disney Car socks from Grandma Wilcox.  He put a pair on right away!  Despite the insanely hot weather.

The worst part about this day was that Jacob started throwing an absolute fit over not having more presents to open.  We wanted him to have something special on his birthday, which is why we opened any presents at all.  But he also already knew that we'd be having a birthday dinner at Grandma's house the next day, and get some more presents from Aunt Rachel and Grandma Newson then.  And beyond that, he also knew that he was going to be having a party with all of his friends coming over the day after that.  So THREE days of fun and gifts, and he decided to throw a fit on the very first day because he wanted more presents.  It made me feel so bad.  I felt like Jacob had transformed into Dudley Dursley or something.  I have no idea where the attitude came from - I don't remember any of my children ever doing that before.   Eventually, he stopped, and I could tell he really liked all his gifts, but it was still a shocking attitude.

So, on Sunday, the usual Sunday Dinner with family was now Jacob's Birthday Dinner.  He wanted spaghetti, but we had just had a lot of spaghetti recently, and nobody else really wanted it again, so we talked him into chicken drumsticks and various sides (like fancy green jello with pineapple), instead.  He ended up really happy with that (phew!), and we had a lovely meal. 

After dinner Rachel and Grandma presented their gifts to Jacob.  (And poor Rachel, don't mind her.  She was doing some dishes and got wet at the sink!)  Another round of Heavy Heavy Hangover....

And Rachel made him a lovely name banner, which we have now hung up on the underside of the bunk bed, where he sleeps.  :)  We also used it as decoration at his party!  Wonderful.  :)

Grandpa gets excited to do Heavy Heavy Hangover....

Grandma Newson made him an awesome Link (Legend of Zelda) costume!  A nice green tunic styled just like the character, with belt and sword harness trappings made from some perfect vinyl, which was leftover from her's and Rachel's re-upholstering of my dining chairs for my birthday.  It looks awesome!  And he's always wanted a Link costume. 

Rachel went the extra distance and made a dessert for Jacob's birthday dinner - homemade brownies with mini M&M's scattered on top, then topped with ice cream, whipped cream, and a few more M&M's.  It was a hit!!

Tomorrow I'll blog about the birthday party.  I think it was a lot of fun and I want to share!

Dinner Conversation

Last night, as we were eating dinner, we started discussing cow's milk. (We suspect Melinda may be lactose intolerant to some degree, which is why we made the distinction.)

"Cow's milk?!"  Jacob exclaimed.

"Yeah.  You remember," I replied, "cows make milk the same way people do."  The conversation continued, explaining how as long as someone takes the milk every day, the cows keep making more.  Adding in that as long as I nurse a baby or keep pumping milk, I would keep making more, too. 

Jacob puts on a slightly too innocent expression, and then asks, "Mom, are you a cow?"

Feeling a bit chagrined, dazed, and not at all very pleased, I simply say, "Thanks, Jacob.  Thanks a lot."

Jesse was laughing his head off, which ended up making the kids and myself giggle, too.  Finally I ask Jacob, "Do I look like a cow to you?"

"No," he admits.  Then, after pausing just long enough to make me think I'm safe, he adds "They don't have hands."


Well.  Doesn't that make me feel better???  ;)

And for the record, Alex is officially weaned.  It was a nice gentle end to our nursing relationship... I was feeling very ready for it, and he has been very accepting of the change.  And now I have my body all to myself for the first time since I became pregnant with Melinda, 7 years and 2 months previous.  We stopped nursing altogether very shortly after his birthday.

Unsupervised

We haven't been great about getting out of bed very early this week, with Jesse home on a forced vacation from work. That means that the kids are up and playing while we're pretty oblivious to what's going on, catching some extra zzz's while we can. This morning, they surprised us with a couple actually good things.

First, a box of gallon-sized ziploc bags somehow got knocked down from the top of the fridge. Might have happened before we went to bed without us noticing it, but the kids sure noticed it this morning. They took them and proceeded to "clean up" the playroom by stuffing those gallon-sized bags with as many toys as they could. And then they stacked them all on the chair in the living room. See the picture? So proud of themselves. Even Jacob, in all his underwear-and-swim-goggle glory. You can even see a bit of the very clean playroom floor in the doorway behind them. .... .... Maybe I should implement gallon-sized bags into our cleanup routine??

And then, as I was setting out a breakfast "snack" (snack only, because we were heading off to IKEA to grab breakfast and do window shopping, but since Jesse and I had gotten up at 9am, they were already "starving"), I saw some papers on the table, and I was floored by the drawings I saw on them. Melinda had found her "how-to-draw animals" book that I bought a few months ago. She had deemed it too difficult and frustrating back then, but she did awesome this time, all on her own:

An Angel Fish:

A Butterfly:

A Cobra, complete with wiggles:

Top: a fly;

Middle Left: a worm (with wiggles);

Middle Right: a starfish (with a million dots!!)

Bottom: a sperm whale

She said the worm was the trickiest one for her. But she put a lot of detail into all of them, and I could tell what they all were right off the bat. What a fun thing to discover first thing in the morning!

The First Swim Class

Bright and early this morning, Melinda and Jacob started their very first swim class. Level 1, Water Exploration. Skills they work on include blowing bubbles, bobbing in the water, getting comfortable with getting in and out unassisted, dunking their heads underwater, and eventually floating front and back with assistance. Melinda tells me that her teacher said that she will be moving to Level 2... but nobody said anything to me, so I'm not sure if they meant right away, or as soon as this 6-week session is complete. I'm sure she'd have to be put in a different time slot to get Level 2 instruction, at least.

Anyway, I got to sit and watch them through a one-way mirror while they were with their teacher. It was a group lesson, but there was only one other girl in their group along with Jacob and Melinda. Right off the bat, Melinda and Jacob both had trouble sitting and waiting for instructions - they both wanted to run off and do their own thing. I watched for about 10 minutes, while they did "Simon Says" in the water, with blowing bubbles, chin in the water, cheek in the water, etc. But then I had to run home, because I had forgotten the towels. And since it was a brisk 34 degrees this morning, that was not something I wanted them to do without. It's an indoor pool, but the shock of going back outside would not be fun if they were wet. Also, I tried to take some pictures, but I couldn't use the flash because of the one-way mirror, and without the flash there was too much movement and you couldn't see anything for the blur.

Here is a quick question & answer I did with them when we got home. Jacob, poor little guy, had some trouble during the lesson. They were holding onto the wall and walking towards the deeper side, when he let go of the wall and kept on going. Within a couple steps, he was in too deep. The instructor was helping the other little girl there, and Jacob was just outside her peripheral vision. I, quite honestly, got VERY panicked as his head went under the water,and he started flailing. It was just deep enough that he couldn't quite get his face back up. It probably lasted a total of 4 seconds - but when you remember that this a little guy who gets absolutely traumatized by water getting on his face in a bath.... well, then you realize that this was probably terrifying to him. The teacher saw him and snatched him up, and sat him up on the wall. He laid down on his tummy right there on the poolside, and wasn't crying, at least... but he had a shocked look on his face. After that, they worked on "jumping" into the pool from a sitting position on the wall, and he did okay with that. He continued participating. But listen to his answers here in the Q&A and you'll see that he isn't thrilled about the idea of more classes. His little scare sort of colored all his answers... he really was fairly excited this morning before class actually started. On the other hand, I was quite pleased with how Melinda did. While not terrified of water in her face, she certainly hates it. Always demands a towel if her eyes get wet. But even though I noticed she was uncomfortable with her face wet, she was very eager to try everything the instructor asked her to do, and didn't panic or get upset when she would go completely underwater.... just kept her eyes squeezed tightly closed, was all!

My questions are in red, Melinda's and Jacob's answers are noted with their name.

Before you went to swim class, how did you feel about it?

Melinda: Happy, because it sounded really fun.
Jacob: Scared.

When you saw the pool for the first time, what did you think?

Melinda: I guess I liked it. (She ran around a lot, I thought she was excited. She tells me she was just playing airplane.)
Jacob: It's not good.

What did you think about your teacher?

Melinda: Fun!
Jacob: Not good to me.

What was your favorite part of swim class?

Melinda: Going under the water.

What did you do under the water?

Melinda: One of the parts when I went under the water, I opened my eyes a teeny bit, it didn't look fun under the water... I didn't see it very much. I didn't want my eyes opened all the way.

What was your favorite part of swim class?

Jacob: Not good. The part I like is the lollipop part when we were all done.

What did you like while you were IN the water?

Jacob: Jumping into my teacher's arms.

Melinda's 2 cents: I didn't have to jump into the teacher's arms. She just caught my hands and my face went under water.

What new thing did you learn at swim class today?

Melinda: I pretty much know how to do everything.

Do you know how to hold your breath?

Melinda: Yes, when I went under.

What new thing did you learn at swim class today?

Jacob: How to swim.

How did you swim?

Jacob: Like a duck.

How do ducks swim?

Jacob: They swim with the yellow colors.

Tell me what was scary about swim class.

Jacob: We go into the swimming pool.

What happened in the swimming pool?

Jacob: I don't know.

What happened when you were walking down the wall?

Jacob: I fell in and that was scary.

Why was it scary?

Jacob: That was scary. Falling down the wall.

Were you stuck under water?

Jacob: Mmm-hmm. And I couldn't get up.

And how did that make you feel?

Jacob: Sad and scared.
Do you want to do swimming class again?
Jacob: Uh-uh.

Why not?

Jacob: I don't like it.

Was there anything you didn't like at swim class?

Melinda: Uh-uh. No. Nothing.

Do you want to do swim class next week?

Melinda: Yes, yes, yes!!

What are you excited about learning next time?

Melinda: Swimming under water.

Do you think you will be good at it?

Melinda: Yes, yes, yes!

Anything else you want to tell me about swim class?

Melinda: Mmm, maybe after the next class.

P.S., regarding some comments I've gotten:
As for witnessing it, I've been processing panic emotions all morning/afternoon. Feels eerily similar to all the bad dreams I've had of Jacob dying while I was completely powerless. My body was just starting to get to the point that I was thinking I should run to the door and scream to get the instructor's attention when she turned and saw him. Took a while for my heart to slow down. I may very well feel as scared as he does. I also insisted that he take a nap today to help recover from the scary morning. He was already seeming clingier and more easily upset than normal, by noon. And that's saying a lot, for Jacob these days.

But, I was impressed that despite the scare, he continued to participate and didn't have a meltdown. He was more hesitant to get his face anywhere near the water, but he didn't stay OUT of the water or cry at all. We'll see how he is next week. I'll keep trying to talk to him and work through it with him. If nothing else, I hope that maybe it helps him understand why learning how to swim is so important, so that sort of thing doesn't happen again.
Here's to hoping he'll not be too scared for next week. Nothing like starting off swim lessons for the very first time with a frightening event. :-\